Choker

i ain’t like most people here. That don’t mean I ain’t like anyone here, I’m the same but also different. I have never been raped, I’m a guy, I’ve thought about committing the act of rape. I hide behind big words in a text to seem smart, but in person I can’t say the words right, and I choke and stutter… I am mexican, you are white, black, brown, yellow, whatever… I don’t cut, instead I choke…..

And I don’t mean choke the chicken, but I do masturbate also, but I literally asphyxiate myself… Why do I do that, don’t I know I lose 1000 brain cells everytime? Yeah, I understand, but I do stupid shit and yeah sometimes I want to forget shit. My dad kicks my ass for refusing to get a haircut (on wednesday), I get slapped 6 times by him for saying FUCK… I probably deserve all that shit, but I don’t admit it, or I admit it because I’m too weak to fight back… I choke so I could forget all that shit… Does it work? No, but I still do it, because I’m happy doing it, maybe it’s because I see a mentally retarded kid smiling at everything. If I can’t kill myself, why not become mentally retarded or go into a coma, hopefully I can die from loss of brain cells. I don’t care, just kill me then. Too bad that shits immoral… Just like falling in love with your own cousin, immoral shit, you can’t stay with anyone you fall in love with because of complications. Sorry my stupidity causes my brain to wonder… I meant wander actually…
Now I will choke. Sometimes I feel a 5 second high also…