Dread

I’ve figured it out
this awful feeling
the nervous energy
the anxious panic
the relentless restlessness
the pressure crushing
it’s dread

dread pouring down on me
overpowering and drenching
dread at realizing
that this is all more than me
I was doomed from the begining

it’s more than a little wanting
more like an endless needing
an intuitive urging
a powerful yearning
or an aching longing
and all the reasons
so many reasons

but they all mean nothing
just a way of coping
or understanding
but its more than my choosing
my unavoidable ending

Death has been calling
my soul’s finally answering
and this feeling
it’s beyond all controlling