I know what you’re thinking.
I’m a teenage girl whose going to ramble on about another teenage boy she’s been infatuated with, making accusations like “I know he’s the one for me” or something of that sort.
Well, don’t let the title fool you.
I am talking about a boy, that part is not false, but I’m not exactly infatuated with him, and I’m not exactly in love with him…at least I don’t think so.
His name is Grant. Grant Prentice to be exact. I met him at the beginning of this year, in my Spanish class. It was like magic, meeting someone so new, someone who didn’t know anything about me, and couldn’t judge me based on past things he’d heard. It was a crazy thought at the time, I thought that it was a bad idea getting to know someone when eventually they would find out how I really was, what was really wrong with me.
I’ve never had to worry about that with him. Every day I get to see him smile at me, put his arm around me, treat me like a normal person. And no matter what I tell him that look never changes. He loves ME for me. I don’t think I could ask for a better friend then that, and I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else in this world.
But it scares me sometimes, HE scares me. He couldn’t be more perfect if he tried, and I’ve become so attached to him over these past seven months, and that terrifies me. I never get attached to people, I make it a habit of keeping them at a distance so I don’t have to be disappointed when they leave, and everyone always does. But I can’t do that with him, I can’t keep him at a distance because I want him close to me all the time, I can’t stay away from him or avoid him, he means the world to me.
It hurts though. being scared all the time around him. Afraid that I’m going to say something to personal, or too depressing, and I’m going to drive him away, and then he will leave. I’ve just never had someone stick around for this long, and getting too see him becomes the highlight of my day. I can’t help but think that he could be the one…
The one to save me.
7 comments
If he’s stuck around for so long, I’m sure he’s gotten to know you pretty well. I doubt he he would ever leave you.
i agree with what tali said, if he’s been your friend so long then he very likely will keep that up 🙂
I can hardly let people in aswel.I let this girl vin.she’s the best.she doesn’t understand me.but in a way its okay.our first argument.I thought I lost her.we were fruebds for like three mintgs when that happened.but thing is.I vdidnt lose her.she’s still her.even after months of arguing.shs here.I love her.but..she doesn’t love me the way I her. I’m justglad I still have her.the only onewho won’t judge me.she doesn’t care I’m bi.
I bet this guy you have is luke my friend.he will stay.if he stayed with no argument between you.and my friend stayed cwith dozens of them.the he will stay.for a ling time.
*months
you are very blessed to found someone you can rely on. I, too, once had a friend like him, but unfortunately he turned against me, mainly due to my own stupidity for letting him get too close. I understand why you are keeping that distance, and I don’t blame you. Just take it one day at a time and I’m sure you two will maintain that happiness in your lives <3
Thanks everyone for the nice comments. I mean, I dont really know if its wrong to want something more, I just feel like he really is the only one who doesnt judge me for being the way that I am. He doesnt care whats wrong with me or what I’ve done in the past, he just is the best person in the world. I’ve never found someone else like him and its exciting to think that there could be a real relationship here for me. But I’d be too scared to ask him if he feels the same…although i do get that vibe.
He will stay.trust me.