I constantly feel depressed and it’s getting to a point where all i can think of is killing myself, and you know the funny part? I was Hoping to not make it to my 18th birthday which is this Sunday. It gets me even more depressed that I’m still not dead. Is that crazy? I think so. But I could care less, there is absolutely nothing wrong in my life.. at least that could attain from all this sadness I have. My boyfriend.. He’ a good person, but fuck he doesn’t understand my pain. No one does. I hate everything, nothing is ever good enough for anyone! It’s always my fault. I’m sick and tired of being the nice girl. when is it going to be my turn to be pampered to be shown I’m a good person? NEVER. I’m thinking about slitting my wrists before Sunday. I mean it has to be done… I can’t handle it. I’m not good enough for my parents, for my boyfriend, for my friends. I am no one.
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Your’e not no one, you’re you. There’s only one you, in this entire universe. Just think about it. No one can ever replace you. I think of killing myself too, I’ve been researching methods to end my life for quite awhile now. I don’t think you should slit your wrists, to kill yourself.
I know the pain and frustration of thinking of how no one where I am understand my pain. They would go on with their lives laughing it off and having fun while I feel all this pain inside me. It’s not crazy you want to die because of how depressed you are with life. I feel that way too. Feeling like I’m just useless and not good for anyone or anything, putting myself down and hating myself.
I hope you don’t kill yourself though. If there’s anything wrong or bothering you, you can just talk to me or others here. If you’re not comfortable here, through email or anything would work too. I’m sure there are people who understand you here. So don’t go killing yourself and ending the life of the only person that is you.
I just gt back on.. i love your kind words.. thank you.
that meant a lot to me actually.. But I’ve been dealing with this since i was 14. I have no idea as to what I can do, i wish i could say my life sucks, or something bad happen in my life that was so tragic but everything is fine… I feel incredibly selfish being sad for nothing but i can’t feel it, I’m sure its teenage angst. But wow. I’m just extremely upset about the whole going to turn 18 thing and I;m still not dead. I could care less about the method but I want to do it.. I’ve tried on several occasions.. i’ve had my stomach pumped from the pills, i tired suffocating myself, people always tend to find me though. I think it;s a sign im not willing to listen too..
Stephy i feel the same 🙁 But im a bit older im 23
<3 thank you people that understand.. It's weird how im so worried about making it to that age. I don;t want too. at all. My future in my eyes is non existent..
You’re not being selfish… because when you’re depressed and sad.. you just are. Sometimes you just can’t help it. Like me… I know the very reasons why I’m depressed and suicidal, but can’t do anything to change it. If you need help dealing with things, just let me know. Idk if I can relate to everything that is wrong or has it happen to me, but I can try to help you as best as I can. I can be there for you to help you if you want it. I’m sure some others here are willing to do the same.
I know im the same i turned 23 last november and really didnt wanna celebrate it i felt horrible and didnt wanna be alive anymore so why would i wanna celebrate a birthday and i’ve always kinda hated birthdays. My family was coming over to see me i had no interest in seeing anyone or talking to anyone all i wanted to do was hang myself in my room 🙁
It’s so comforting to know that there are people out there that care enough to actually console me. 🙂
I want to help people too, but i don’t think I can until i help myself..
For me i seem to find it easier to wanna help others rather than myself i’d just rather do that
I so understand! This sunday my mom invited the whole world to my birthday, I asked for non of it, just to be left alone, even my boss gave me the day off without even asking me, id much rather be at work, wasting my bithday than with family. so they can see my depression and call it stupid? no… I dont want to do anything but my mother insists and calls me names ad tells me i have a bad attitude when all it is that I just want to be left alone..
I so agree with you, its been my mission to actually help other rather than myself, because i wanted to be selfless.. but its gotten to a point when you are not appreciated for it. thats what hurts the most..
I know my family’s the same they just dont get it!
I’ll help you if you want me to. For my birthdays before… I would never really get any gifts from anyone. No friend would even really say happy birthday or cared about me, so at least your mom remembers your birthday and tries to celebrate it. But then I can understand what you mean… while being depressed… I just don’t feel like I have the energy to celebrate. Just like crying on the inside… I would rather help others.. since I see no hope for me and will end my life anyways.
yeah 🙁 ugh now my boyfriend isnt talking to me we got into an argument when i need him more than ever.
I know exactly what you mean and what you feel @deep abyss
I don;t deserve anything from anyone. my parents have always said im not good enough straight a’s arent enough for them.. My friends dont remeber anything. my bf doesnt even know how to try to understand..
Even if I got straight A’s and even awards every year, my parents would still say I’m not good enough. They don’t even really look at my awards, they’re just in a cabinet collecting dust. It just seems like I’m not really good at anything in life.
My friends don’t remember anything either… all the times we hung out or the times we laughed and spent together or the times I was there for them and helped each other out. They just didn’t understand and just left after lying to me.
I had a girlfriend who didn’t understand me either… I can understand how that felt. When I started feeling depression… I really really needed someone to talk to and I would tell her about it, but she instead, left me.
I’ll be here for you if you want it. Idk how useful I can be, but I can try to help.
<3 <3 I feel the need to help me and I extremely appreciate it, honestly.
I’m online a lot if you want if you ever feel the need to talk or just wanna talk about whatever is bothering you. Just don’t hold that pain inside you all alone. I’ll help you carry them.
If you rather not talk here and want to talk by email, just give me your email. I usually am on here if I’m online anyways though. I might not understand everything you’re going through, but I will try to… since in the end, even though the experiences may be a bit different, we do feel the same thing. I think.
thank you soo much… <3
No problem. Just tell me if you want to ever talk. If not to me, I’m sure there are plenty of people here would love to talk and help you too, since they would probably feel the same way.