nothing feels right anymore. happiness comes and goes. but at night.. i feel like im falling. i wish i could rip my heart out and lock it away so no one will ever hurt me. im in a state of depression that scares me. i cut up my leggs so my mom cant see my cute. ive carved “hopeless’, “worthles” “slut” and “no one loves you” into my leggs over the past month. the person i love doesnt love me. the family who said they would always be there for me never is. my mom crys everynight. she doesnt smile anymore. my house is full of sadness.
i wanted to run away lastnight. mom was yelling at the bank, and my uncles about them stealing my dads money. my dad didnt take care of anything before he died..
And to make matters worse… and a big reason i wish i could die now is at 10:30pm my ex boyfriend found me walking home from work…. he called me a slut and his slave (sex slave) and pushed me down and tried to rape me… again…. thankfully i had a can of spray paint on me and spraied his eyes and ran home. i ran in the door locked it and called 911. my mom grabed me and her batt. yes people she has a bat and we waited. hes in jail and im safe i guess.. i still feel worthless… because of this… i believe no one will ever love me for me.. they will only want myy body…. i think hes (ex boyfriend) right…. im not good for anything but sex…..
im alone. ive been alone for years… im tired of being alone
i keep dreaming that my moms going to die soon. that scares me. if she does die then i will kill myself. i sware on my fathers grave ill do it..
i want a new life. i hate this life. i hate the pain in my heart. it feels like lead is buried deep inside me! please im begging you someone anyone pull it out!!!!!
i wish someone would kill me so i could go to heaven wiht my dad.. or atleast put me in a coma…
god end my suffering. please… im losing myself… and my sanity….. please save me…
3 comments
hey girl, My name is Fo. I if you need someone to talk to please let me know. I know how you feel. I can relate to how you feel. I had thoughts of dying, the idea came to me in many ways. But i have found my peace in life. I would love to maybe help you out to overcome the pressure that life sometimes throws at us. Believe me. I know how you feel. This is my personal e-mail pforrensy@gmail.com. If you just need someone to talk to or to vent out and just all ears for you hit me up.
-Fo-
That guy is messed up. No one should be used for sex or anything. I get how you’re in pain because someone used you… but you’re not just useless and there will be someone who will love you for you. Just don’t have sex with any random person or rush to have sex and no one can ever call you slut. You’re not one unless you do that. Anyone can call you anything they want, as long as don’t do the things they accuse you of, you shouldn’t cut yourself like that.
I’m sure there is someone who will love you for you and find how amazing you are. Not just for sex, but your personality or the way you are and everything. Don’t cut yourself anymore. If you feel depressed and bad, just talk to the people here. I’m willing to talk and help you if I can if you want that help to get better instead of wanting to die.
Hi I’m well idk right now hum just call me Tay. If you ever need to talk email me @ gumbeaux10kat@yahoo.com. I’ve gone though being all alone and cutting suicidalness, but ive never had a relationship with mom. Even thought I live with her and my stepdad. It’s my dad I call when I have a problem. It’s him I want to live with.