Not a big deal

I am 18 years old, so only just a little bit older than you, with a little bit more life experience. (almost done with freshman year of college!)
I began self injury about your age, and I know it’s not a fun experience. I eventually stopped on my own, but now I feel I am slipping back into depression with suicidal thoughts. I can only suggest that can you PLEASE please speak with a professional about what you’re going through. I know how hard it is to tell someone in real life, but honestly if I knew it would continue until now I would’ve asked for help sooner. I made my first appointment with the campus counselour for tommorow morning. I feel as though it is a big step for me. There are many resourses to relate to people like us–high school counselour, parents, friends, religious leader, online help, self-help books and websites. For me, my relationship with my parents was very bad (they were abusive when I was growing up) so I couldn’t go to them, because they were the ones causing my depression and pain. But there are still many other options of help for you, and when I look back on my journals and thoughts of when I was 16, I can’t believe I thought the end was near for me. My first semester and a half at college has been quite a liberating experience for me, and although it hasn’t been a complete walk in the park, it was definitely worth the wait.
NEVER EVER let someone tell you how you feel is not a big deal. It is, so don’t ignore your emotions, or let anyone downplay them. It’s weird, but sometimes the people closest to you don’t want to realize the fact that you may feel vulnerable or need help. That’s why I feel I can’t tell the people closest to me about how I feel, but some random stranger on the internet or elsewhere I feel perfectly safe. Just remember, you are not alone. Talking to somone like me or a school counselour will do you TONS of good, even if you don’t see it at first right away. And if someone says you’re too young to be in love or feel these types of emotions, calmly but firmly tell them and yourself that they are WRONG. Some people are naturally more emotionally develped due to life experiences and how we perceive them. It’s good that you have already started a conversation with friends, the ones that really see you through it all are your true friends. Not to minimize how you’re feeling, but don’t feel ashamed or embarassed of what you feel or what you do about it. Everyone needs a way to cope with the stress of life, I hope you find a better way than self-injury. A school counselour or a teacher you feel you can trust RESEARCHED and have EXPERIENCE in situations such as your own, so please don’t feel as though they will judge you for cutting or depression. In my senior year of highschool, I ran retreats for the sophomores. We did personal group conversations, I am amazed how many students need help but are too afraid to seek it out. Please don’t be afraid, be be strong! I have faith in you! If you need to talk more, I’ll be here. Sending out love and positivity!