I KNOW that my depressed “squirrel in a cage” thinking is just (neuropathic) wiring. I KNOW that it will pass if I can put even one cell outside of myself and view myself with compassion, kindness and warmth. I KNOW that doing so will lighten the despair — sometimes just a shade or two, sometimes will brighten to the point that the despair is just a shadow. I know this and yet…I get so tired of the effort. So tired of life being so fucking hard, such a struggle.
I am so tired. I get so tired of trying to escape the drag, the anchor, of despair.