Well so much for my happy day. Yesterday was amazing i felt like i could conquer the world, i felt as if I could see the world in color again. Today i feel depressed, sad, alone, dying inside. I want to cut so bad. I want to take those scissors and drag it across my wrist. I dont know what to do. I miss my grandmother alot today ( she died four years ago). If i coulf just have one last moment with her i would want to say, its going t be ok nanny, you have touched so many peoples lives, more than you could ever imagine, i love you. The thing that kills me is i never even got to say goodbye to her, it just happened.
I just dont know what to do anymore, ive lost my will to fight, my will to succeed, my will to care. I know my parents love me, and i have the most amazing best friend in the world who has been there for me no matter what, when I was thinking about killing myself this summer i would call her and she would change my mood, just like that, the suicidal thoughts were gone. But now that school has started i feel us drifting apart. It kills me because if i lose her ive basically lost my rock, the one person who has seen me at my worst and did everything she could to help me.
2 comments
Same here dude
I know exactly how yew feel, I really do. The same thing happened to me, once I started back to school this year. I can relate to this completely. I kind of just keep to myself anymore, because I’ve realized on my own that’s the best thing to do.