I came really close today. I methodically loaded the gun. Hands steady as I loaded it. I wasn’t hesitating. I really thought that i was going to go through with it. It was almost like I was working in a trance. Going through the rehersed motions. I clicked the safety off and steeled myself to do it. But I couldn’t pull the damn trigger. I just couldn’t do it. I looked around and sighed and realized I had failed again. I really don’t understand what the fuck is going on. My friends are jokes and my school is a synonym for misery. The only solace I have ever gotten is when I drive my car. Not really sure where I’m going with this anymore. I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong to take your own life. I do know that I have a right to pursue what I want. Problem is I don’t even have half an idea of what that might be.
Ain’t that a *****?
4 comments
You have the right to do anything you want. But don’t do this unless you are ABSOLUTELY SURE.
It is a *****. not knowing what you want. But not knowing doesn’t make you a failure either, you got a lifetime to figure it out.
I totally agree wth one_day. Youve got right to do whatever you want so why the hell should it be suicide? Your friends are jokes, ditch them, if thats just gonna make things worse then just have a lower opinion and dont care about what they say as much. Schools shit then just force your way through and then have an entire world to explore. If you wanna talk im always here at lauriejohnson1@hotmail.co.uk we dont need to talk about anything you dont wanna but ill always be here 🙂
as i have not much room to talk, you’re not a failure because you didn’t follow through with your plans. you survived to see what another day will bring.
i agree with one_day, you have the right to do anything you want. and you NEED to be 100% positive. it cannot be an impulsive thing. (although, it gets you much closer)
I’ll save your life . . .
Sell me your gun for $600. Cash on collection. Hell you can even have it back after.