hate myself for doing this

one of the few rhymes that I’ve wrritten that I think you SPers might enjoy

what would i be doing if i weren’t getting high?
i’d probably be dead, depression is so sly

think about it, an assassin in your mind
he creeps all about as he wants and divines

new ways to inflict mental torture
until the day that you decide that this is not what you signed up for

you didn’t sign, so you cut down the dotted line
yadda yadda yadda, friends and family found crying

at least no more days will be spent sighing
it’s off to nothing, brain is off, some peace and quiet

smoke on some violet, that’ll stop my emo riot
but my wrist cutting agenda will forever be remembered

no escaping my instinctual endeavor
existence is antithesis to happiness so brooding gives me pleasure

sorrow is a substance that i treasure, only misery satisfies
schadenfreude my name in german

wastedead, pervert, narcissist, pretender, i’m that gecko color changing down dumper
no slumber without reefer

no sleep for the sinful says the preacher
the wicked want no rest, says me, the psychophagic leecher

but im dozing off this leaf this bud this godly feel is from a shrub
this weed not from above no god the earth i call my mother pa

insanely foolish mungkhees are,they trod upon what they call god
but treat it with a 2nd thought, time to change the train of thought

apocalypse certainly not, roll up your sleeves, pick up a knife
mother says take your own life, let it flow till she suffice