Was beautiful one-am now 45.
Had potential.
Law degree- ivy undergrad, why did I stay in the law??
Never worked for me, too sensative-love history, I write, they say I have talent.
Can’t hold down a job, everyone loves me at first I can’t cope with the big firm law stress and then the cracks show. Husband and I separated, could not have children, endured terrible pain trying to have a baby. Now, just got word, my temp to perm position working as a law assistant is letting me go. I have nothing left, up here in this room at my parents. No job. No hope…this is the first time I felt I could really end it. Why don’t people like me? I work hard, am a “nice” person but still weak, not tough, not strong, not bloodless. Why? Too many bodyblows.
I guess I feel I don’t belong in this world. It is hard, cold and difficult.
4 comments
Yes. The world is hard. It’s so difficult for people like you – sensitive, not weak.
There are other people like you out there, they are hard to find because they have to camoflage with the cold hard world. But if you look carefully, you can find, and the world gets easier when you don’t feel like you’re the only one.
Your words speak to me. I share similar characteristics that you have. I am a very sensitive person, but i am not weak. I have trouble dealing with things in the appropriate manner. I feel lost, and trapped, and like I have finally hit a dead end. I’ve had dreams and aspirations my whole life, none in which came true. I was raised being told “never give up” but after you try for so long whats the point if nothings changing. I have been in a terrible relationship, being left for another woman. Being left made me feel even more worthless.
One thing i have learned though, is to use this pain to be what drives me. I want to rub it in my ex’s face that i’m doing something with my life, not giving up, and i can be perfectly fine without him. I realized that if i were to end my life, i would let everyone else win. I want to make something of myself, because we are alive, our lives are not over. I wish you the best, and hope that i gave you some encouragement to give this life one last shot. We all are unique and we all are special, we were brought into this world for a purpose, and if you feel alone, stick close to your family, focus on how much love you have for them and they have for you, and not what you don’t have. This world is cold and difficult but we don’t have to be. Take Care
Title caught my eye.. including the last sentence..
Thank you lost says:
I’m sorry your husband left you for another woman…must be terrible. Mine, just can’t make anything of himself, is even more broken than I am…
Much kind regards for you words of encouragement, I was doing “OK” before my law firm let me go a few days ago, not that I was doing great, but this feels like too many cuts, I’m bleeding out…I’ll probably never work a again, at least in this economy…I have a terrible time trying to hide my pain/sadness and anger at the firm (they have given me two months to clear out which is generous I suppose, but I withstood bullying from other women because I am still attractive, worked 12 hours in a row w. no break, no food and still not good enough. The reality is I am not suited to it, and never was, the degree was a waste. I’ve written a great book which NY editors say I have talent and that the story is amazing, original and fresh…and I knew its my sensitivity and my creative drives come from the very best part of me, but I still feel like a failure and lost my will with this blow. Thanks for your encouragement, I too was raised pick yourself up…but this time…this time it feels too much.