Today at four in the morning, I had a tiff with my spouse. The subject of divorce had come up, although now after everything has blown over, he takes it back. I thought I was going to jump off the overpass, but I called my counselor and someone who was on-call answered me. It was suggested that I check myself into a hospital. I wasn’t committed even though I had said I was feeling suicidal. Our plan now is that I go back to my counselor’s office and continue counseling, as I had quit going. And I’ll be seeing my doctor about some prescription to help with therapy. It’s been a very rough year, from last October to this October. I can’t wait until things get better.
6 comments
I hope things get better for you dear. You have hope so you definitely have a future, too. Keep going!
You’re doing good. And I urge you, anything the doctor prescribes for you, PLEASE do your research on it and be aware of side effects etc before you take it. Not that I don’t trust doctors, but honestly, you see them for like 15mins and they write you a script, so nothing wrong with being vigilant.
Umm.. don’t mean to pry, but any chance you and husband would consider marriage councilling? Is the chance of divorce a trigger for the depression?
I’d rather die than divorce and I’l take any fucker that wants a divorce down with me.
We’ve had financial issues, we’re living with family. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like we’re never going to get out of the rut we’re in. I don’t want to be a wage slave for the rest of my life, never enjoying the luxuries in life. I want out, I obsess about killing myself.
The thing that REALLY keeps me from doing it is that I’m too scared. I just think about it is all. I think the least painful, but scariest death is to jump off a bridge. But my mangled remains would be too gruesome, I’d like a neater death than that. I think about hanging myself, but I don’t want to have bulgy eyes and blue face. I think about slitting my wrists, but I’m afraid I’m going to lose blood slowly and and freak out as it’s happening- I’ve given blood before, and I hate the feeling of blood leaving my body and make me freak out. So far it’s my best option, I passed out when I gave blood. Maybe if I slit my wrists, I’ll pass out and die and it won’t be so bad.
It’s good that you’re scared. It means you’re not deluded, death is scary, you should be scared.
Death is always gruesome, because truth be told, without life, bodies and flesh are gruesome. You ever see a corpse? No matter how ‘neat’ the death was, it’s always gruesome.
I’m sorry you’re having so many financial issues. Really though, stick it out. Change don’t happen overnight. You don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel… so stop looking at the end of the tunnel, just focus on your own two feet, step by step, day by day.