I really want to die. But my best friend won’t let me. I guess she wants me to suffer even more. Anyways, I can’t kill myself until I get her permission. So what should I say to her so she can let me go?
-End
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
30 comments
If you still care for your best friend, then don’t do it. Talk about your problems with her; she sounds like someone you are comfortable with.
I was in the same situation with someone close to me. You can’t really say anything to convince her otherwise. People have to come to terms with it on their own and learn to accept it.
So would it be bad if I killed myself whether or not she gives me permission?
@LiveNoLonger: That really depends on how you see it. Ultimately, what is “good” or “bad” is determined by yourself, not me or anyone else. If you think it is “bad” to kill yourself without your friend’s permission, then you wouldn’t do it and you would, in fact, seek help to make your friend happy again.
@teshyn: Agreed.
@LiveNoLonger: It would most definitely hurt your friend. But that’s a part of life. Suicide is your decision to make, and you must make sure that is what you truly want. No irrational thinking and certainly no romanticising death because it is not a game nor should it be used as a cry for help. It is serious. The pain that pushed you this far must be taken into consideration. Have you tried seeking help?
No amount of help can make me better, so trying to seek help is pointless. And my best friend said that if I kill myself, she would feel like its her fault and she will kill herself too. I don’t want her to kill herself because of me, so is there any way that I can kill myself without her killing herself?
@LiveNoLonger: Unfortunately, I don’t think there is. Once you’re dead, you can’t control what your friend does. If you are really determined to do it and have planned thoroughly, it may help to write a detailed note/letter explaining why you did it. No guarantee that she won’t blame herself, though, but it MAY provide some closure.
Well, the only person who can really help you is yourself. Because it all comes down to you alone to make things right; but sometimes we all need someone to lend a helping hand. Is your best friend a special person? I ask because I know I wouldnt be able to continue on with my life the same as before without a certain someone if he died.
Yes, she is an amazing, incredible best friend. But sometimes I question if she actually cares about me because she insists that I,stay here, alive. And If I do that then I would be going through more pain, so mabye she just wants me to suffer like I deserve to. I don’t know, but she wants me to stay because she thinks that my life could get better, when I know it can’t. So really, whats the point in going on if my life is hopless?
Nothing in life is certain. We can’t know for sure if things will get better like they all say. All we can do is manage to survive day by day, and try to enjoy the little things in life, and maybe, just maybe, it’ll work out.
It won’t work out. It never has and never will. Umbra Artist, why did you change your name? And what does Uroboros mean? I looked it up and couldn’t find anything.
You can’t know that for sure. I say the same negative things to myself; but I still try.
I changed my username because I didn’t regard myself as an artist anymore seeing as I destroyed all my artwork in May, and I haven’t gone back to creating art, plus I needed to begin anew.
The Uroboros symbol, which is a dragon or snake figure depicted in full circle consuming itself. This represents continuity and the cycle of power, emphasizing the theme of reincarnation. The normal explanation: it symbolizes the recycling or renewal of the Universe.
I give myself crap reasons to not die, actually. It can be as crappy as “I want to watch that show on TV.” The good thing is that it works, the bad thing is that it’s a reason not to die, rather than a reason to live. Still trying to figure that one out.
Sometimes you just have to just nod your head, smile, and keep going, even if every part of you is screaming at you that that’s just crazy. Sometimes being crazy isn’t a bad thing.
I don’t think your friend had you make that promise because she wants to hurt you. One of the worst things that can happen is to watch someone you care about suffer and not be able to do anything about it. She’s not sure what she should do so she’s doing the only thing she can: try and buy a little more time to figure out what she can do to help you.
Things will only get better if you BELIEVE that they can. Nothing in your life will improve if you’ve convinced yourself that nothing will change. You have to acknowledge that you can’t be certain about the future before you can turn your life around. Real life isn’t like a book or a movie where some miracle happens and everything gets better. You have to make your own miracles.
And you DO have the power to make those miracles happen. For what it’s worth, I believe that you have that power.
I don’t know if you like heavy metal, but these are some songs I like to listen to whenever I start feeling discouraged. People in my life have come and gone, but heavy metal has always been there for me when I needed it. Hopefully it can do for you what it’s done for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U__m4N7Ml30
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Mj6GRrYmgI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi5y8z6boUE
@teshyn: You make a good point, and it was comical too, enough to make me laugh so thanks.
@ umbra, so you believe in reincarnation?
@teshyn, I’ve tried that before, just recently actually. I though to myself, mabye I should wait until MW3 comes out,and see how it is. But then I thought, hey, I’ve lived without it, do I can die without it
@draAtHelvete, even if I believe things could get better, my hopes would be destroyed when something horrible comes along(and they mostly do) but I don’t have the power to make miracles happen. I don’t have the power to do anything to try to change my life
@DraAtHelvete: We have a common interest. I love heavy metal! And, your advice was very much appreciated. Hopefully, it will be well received by LiveNoLonger.
@LiveNoLonger: Oh, I thought I was the only one. Well, I CAN die without that particular episode on TV, but mostly I try to latch on to that feeling after I’ve just finished an episode to keep myself going for one more day/week. So the feeling becomes: I WANT to watch so-and-so first. Totally unsustainable, I know, but then the rate of us killing off the environment isn’t that sustainable either.
(Sorry, lapsing into sarcastic mode. I actually hope that an apocalypse will come and kill humanity off so that I don’t need to do it myself. Talk about laziness.)
@Umbra_Uroboros: Didn’t know I was a humorous person. Well, it’s good to make someone laugh (:
@LiveNoLonger: Yeah, horrible things happen. Sometimes it takes a while to pick yourself up and keep going afterwards. But the important thing is that you don’t just let life sucker-punch you and stay down for the count. You have to be completely, utterly crazy. I mean, hell, you’ve made it this far, so it’s no big deal to take one more step, right?
As for making miracles happen: miracles don’t have to be the one-in-a-million shot kind of thing. In the words of Albert Einstein, “there are two ways to approach life: the first is to believe that nothing is a miracle. The other is to believe that everything is a miracle”. Hell, sometimes I think that I even manage to drag my sorry ass out of bed is a miracle.
The point is that you have to acknowledge that you have some power to make some small change in your life. It can be as simple as deciding to get out of bed, or giving yourself an extra five minutes in the shower, or getting a dessert. After that, you can work your way up to larger changes. It’s not like you have to wake up one morning and decide to turn your life around before dinnertime.
The key is that you have to believe that you CAN make these small changes and that they WILL make a difference. You can even look at yourself in the mirror and repeat “I HAVE THE POWER!!!” to yourself over and over until you believe it if you have to. It’s more helpful than you’d think.
@teshyn, just an excuse isn’t going to be enough to make me go on. I need something more. I need hope that my life can get better for me to even try to go on, and right now, I have zero hope in that.
@DraAtHelvete, its those little things that give me a small glimmer of almost happiness. Why its almost is because I just think about my life and whatever that so called happy feeling that I had for a couple of seconds has vanished
@LiveNoLonger: Why do you have no hope?
@ teshyn Because I know things will never get better, they will only get worse. Thats pretty much the story of my life, everything get worse and worse.
@LiveNoLonger: I’m not sure if I actually do. A spiritual friend I used to have probably cast a spell on me. Anyways.
@teshyn: It isn’t such a bad idea to wait until the supposed apocalypse. Heck if it does happen it’ll save me the trouble of having to do the job myself.
Maybe it would help if we had a bit more of a background with which to put these statements into context… that is, if you don’t mind providing more details about your circumstances.
;>_>
@LiveNoLonger: Everything may have gotten worse in the past, but it may not get worse from here on out. Another way of thinking is that you’ve currently hit rock bottom already, there’s no way you can go down any further.
@Umbra: My thoughts exactly. Aren’t we lazy people, lol.
@DraAtHelve, it is far too much to explain.
@teshyn I would believe that, but it wouldn’t be worth it considering that I will go down further.
Everyone commenting on this, I appreaciate you trying to help, but as I stated before, no amount of help will make me better. I Will Kill Myself. And theres no stopping it. As for when I will do it, I’m not sure. I just have to get my best friend(who I think is being quite selfish right now because she wants me to stay for her even though im going through so much pain) to let me kill myself. And I’m still not sure how im going to do that
@LiveNoLonger: I’ve got nothing to do until 4:00 pm, so I’ve got time if you’re willing to spill the beans.
Its like 2:30 am where I’m at. Sorry, butbi must go to sleep. Goodnight all. Thank you for trying to help. And you can still comment on this post, I’ll be checking it today
@LiveNoLonger: I would actually love to know why you think you will go down further. Perhaps if I think that way too, my going will be much easier, too.
I’ve also got nothing to do for the next two hours or so, so there’s plenty of time, if you’re so inclined. Finally, if you are really determined and need information, PLEASE research or you can ask me via email. I don’t encourage; I just provide information.
@LiveNoLonger: Please, take all the time you need. We are here to listen.