I remember a time when I had dreams. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to build a home with you. With plants and pets and our little girl. I wanted to travel the world with you. Walk through Rio. Stay up all night at the beach and talk and laugh and enjoy life or even just sit there and look at the stars. I wanted to celebrate our successes. Have you there the day I get my bachelor’s degree and be there the day you open your first business. I even wanted to experience the bad sides of life with you. Cry in your […]
Greetings, fellow site members.
I realize that today is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month and, as many helpful folks like the ones on this website have helped me battle suicide, I want nothing more but to return the favor.
I have been battling bipolar depression for almost four years. I wish not to put it in any further detail, but as the months passed by, friends, hotlines, and random website folks like you guys have gradually convinced me that it just isn’t the answer. It actually does get better. And as much as these people successfully conveyed that message to me, I want to convey it to at […]
I OD’d on my psychotropic (/psychiatric) pills in 2019. ‘Twas a heavy overdose and my pills were strong and of very high dosages. I was naturally almost sure that I’d wind up dead. But guess what? I woke up in the morning. Not in a good state at all, but I awoke. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t utter a solitary word. Hell, I couldn’t even see things. I was cold. I’ve a long history of mental illnesses – BD (+ Psychosis — Schizoaffective disorder) and various PDs, so my folks figured out that I must’ve once again yanked some suicidal sh_t when I […]
I don’t know where to post this, so I decided general was my best bet. Sorry if its wrong 🙁
Hello, first I would like to say a few things about myself :
I am a 15 year old female from the United States. I was diagnosed with some basic stuff like Depression, a psychotic disorder, general anxiety (Doesn’t everyone pretty much have that?) and ptsd (Which I don’t really agree with. At the time I had a psychiatrist with a degree from the Caribbean who was only practicing for 2 years and I don’t think I have it or I have a very mild case of […]
Hi. I’m not sure if I want to live right now. I’ve been rereading a suicide note that I wrote a while back, trying to change its meaning into something less bleak. The problem is, I’m a fairly good writer, (even though it hurts to do so). I’m scared to die, but I can’t stand this. Would anyone be willing to lend a counter-argument to it? I know it’s not much, but I can send you a few dollars over PayPal as a thank you if you want.
hi everyone, im new on here.
just wondering if anyone knows what is my problem because i feel like theres an issue with me but then again its as if i dont have an issue.
anyways i have no problems making friends, i just can’t keep them. i cant open up to anyone, about how fucking superficial i think literally everyone is, and im just afraid to trust and be vulnerable. but then again sometimes i just open up about everything and anything, people think im an extremely open and cool person. yet i wonder if they truly know me? i feel like a psychopath, and if […]
There’s no easier way to say this – I need help. I don’t care who, what, when, where, why or how, I just care that I get help. I don’t get how everyone can say there is so much help you can get out there when every time I try to seek help, I fail. Is it the universe’s way of telling me that I’m hopeless and can’t be helped or I don’t deserve to be? Because that is how it feels. The amount of times that I have tried to reach out to a professional and been unsuccessful is not okay. It genuinely confuses […]
All of me is very pathetic: I am not overweight, but am by no means strong, nor do I possess any significant measure of success or unique strength in any certain area. I work, eat- though sometimes I wish that I didn’t-, sleep, and spend the rest of the time just being lonely and writing about people that I see. It’s embarrassingly lame.
I am tired too: I don’t have anyone to just rest with. I watch porn because I’m so fracking lonely; I cry because it’s pathetic; then I pretend it didn’t happen, almost never really confronting it as an issue. I lie about it, […]
Feeling like I’m going insane.
And I gotta play this game.
Alone and nobody gives a damn.
She said she’s my best friend but what?
Nobody hits up my phone up.
Everybody say they have depression and they’re all alone but it’s all just a facade. Like it’s trendy now to wear it as a badge of honor. When in fact you’re charged guilty pleading your honor.
Fk why I gotta bottle
Everything up inside
Gambling with my life like a lotto.
It’s past midnight.
Dreams of waking up to a better life, resting in peace.
Why has it gotten to this point? I have waited so long but the last one is broken.
The last one has spoken words to me that verify my twisted thoughts.
My presence causes pain and suffering. It has caused this one even more than it has myself.
Why has it gotten to this point?
Is it my fault? I believe it is, but the voice within says it could be my doing and that of my existence as well.
I wish I could bring good news, I truly do, but I hold only sorrow.
Perhaps one day there will be good news.
I have not hoped for this to occur but […]
It’s 5am where I am and I’m embarking on another night of staying up late, alone.
I really need to fix my sleeping schedule but no matter how early I try to go to bed, my thoughts keep me awake.
When I do actually succeed in being in bed asleep by 2am, I still sleep until past 3pm anyway because I just can’t get out of bed. I wake up a few times but then feel a crushing weight of “I can’t do this” and I go back to bed. I swear I only wake up to pee or else I’d never get up.
Does anyone have any […]
Hello guys! I haven’t used this website in 2 years and seeing my older posts are quite a strange experience. I came here in 2014 because isolation and depression pushed me to the edge, rock bottom, or whatever. Started feeling depressed 10 years ago! It’s my Sadniversary and I thew up my birthday cake. My birthday was wednesday and I had a violent indigestion, because why the hell not. Well this feeling persists, yet again. The reason I’m here today is because even if I do feel this pain, this need to die, this very heavy weight of self shame and being worthless, it is […]
I feel like im sinking. I tried to talk about it with a friend. I want to. But i just couldn’t. I couldn’t explain what i was going through. I couldn’t express it. It’s too much. And i… I felt worse. Now, everything seems too much to handle. Everything’s heavy. And i’m scared. I’m scared because i realized, i’ve been through this same feeling last 2015. And i promised myself i won’t go back to this state because there’s no reason to go back and i don’t think i can handle it. So i’m scared. Very scared. I don’t know what […]
I just don’t know what to do with myself now. I’ve pretty much completed the biggest part of my bucket list (somewhere I traveled) and now I can’t seem to motivate myself at all. I know what I would want to do in the future, but now it feels like whether I make it to that point or not doesn’t matter at all. I have a wonderful life filled with supportive and kind people who tell me daily how much potential I have, but I have nothing to show for it. Guilt and a vague but almost desperate feeling of “there’s surely something left for you […]
I don’t want to be that post that you’re probably sick of reading, about falling into depression and healing from it. Three years. Three years of constant debating on weather i can stand myself or not. Starting to slowly fall back into a constant mind of self loath is so difficult. I’ve put my body and mind through to much shit to start being like this again. Scary thing is i don’t think im going to fight as hard as i did the first time.
I want the pain to go away. All the heart break, sadness, lonely nights, empty pill bottles, & watching the blood drip down my arms & legs after just having an episode. I need my thoughts to stop. I can’t handle it anymore. A few days ago my boyfriend slashed his wrists & took 20 xan bars because I tried to leave him. It was all my fault. I had to go over & clean up all of the blood after he got picked up by the ambulance. There was so much blood… it was all over the walls, the tv, the floor, the sink, […]
My suicide note. I’m still working on it. I’m still waiting for help even though I know I’m only fake hoping. I don’t have a purpose anymore. Living is a torture every single day. I set myself a date. I planned everything. I’m pretty hopeless.
Anyways. Here you go, enjoy? I don’t know. Do whatever you want to do with this:
Hey. It’s me. I’m that shitty girl who killed herself because she’s a weak-ass depressed kid who’s only great at complaining and seeking for attention. You probably heard about me now, you’re probably gossiping about it. Anyways, I’m writing this letter because soon enough I’ll be […]
I used to enjoy softball. It was hard work, sometimes it was draining, but I actually like. I don’t think I do anymore. Everyone expects something from me. My parents and tournament softball coach think that I can play college and expect so much more than I’m capable of. My high school coach thinks I can’t do anything and doesn’t give me a chance. He expects nothing from me. I can’t deal with all of this. I wish I could go back and start over. I wish I was more athletic. I wish I was more confident in myself. I wish people could see […]
I am here to tell you one thing. Death isn’t my solution, it is my hideaway spot. The place I dream about when things get bad, the place I think about when I want to end things, but cant bring myself to do it. I find it comforting to dream about what could be if I died, but then it begins to scare me, it begins to make me feel alone, and sometimes I don’t know what to do. How to handle life, how to keep going. Im so tired of struggling, so tired of living off of nothing, having to rely on others, I […]