I really, really, really want a car to hit me and kill me. I really want a tree to fall on my house and crush me in my sleep. I really want to get mugged in a parking lot and left to die.
Is that weird? I really want that because then my family won’t be wondering if they did something wrong or if I was just a fuck up. But I sometimes want that. Is that weird, too?
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I don’t know about the methods you mention, yet identify with wanting something outside of myself ending my life.
No I don’t think so, I wish for the same things every day. I think I wish that because I want to die but I feel so weak and pathetic committing suicide because I’m afraid people are just going to think I took the easy way out since they don’t understand how hard things were.
At the same time though, I get what your saying after that about kind of wanting your family to feel bad. As much as I love my family, I resent them for not being as supportive as I needed them to be for past events and as I need them to be now. Part of me wants then to suffer for that.
I guess I’m not to sure if that’s wierd or not, but you certiantly nott the only one who feels that way.
Glad you can relate. I sometimes do really dumb, small things like not using a seatbelt, not looking both ways, leaning over ledges when there are crowds around me…just the little things that make me smile. 😉
meowmeowmeow, I’m sorry your family is not supportive. I hope you found support outside of your family?
I have found enough to get me by, but this website has definitely helped provide some much needed support(:
Have any of you guys ever thought about running away?
A lot actually, but my only problem is that I would have no where to run to :/
Me too. If I could stay in my home city I would, but obviously that’s out.
Yeah and even surrounding towns too, at least for me because I have family there. Not to mention that all the towns near are rather small anyway so it’s not like I could hide. I wish I had my license (I only have my permit) so i could drive anywhere
I live near Seattle, and there are tons of runaways and places to stay there. But so many of my schoolmates and such hang around downtown. Plus family/police would be looking…
I live in a little Massachusetts town which is pretty close to Boston (only a half hour away). The police probably wouldn’t help my attempts at leaving, but I think the bigger downfall for me is that it’s cold as fuck outside :p.
That sucks 🙁
Yeah, but I’ve gotten used to it. It’s kind of funny how we live on like the exact opposite sides of the US
Yeah, it’s interesting. If we could trade locations we would both be well out of family/friends/police’s way! 😛
Haha sounds good to me(: what time is it for you now?