I’ve always asked myself, why I go on? I mean really, I always think about it and talk about and it would put an end to everything, right? I feel awful every waking moment and I have no motivation to do anything..
Who knows, maybe someday something will change, I don’t know where the “strength†or whatever it is comes from. It isn’t me, I’m not saying it’s God.. because frankly, I don’t believe.. maybe it’s that “happy me†that once was there..
But I guess I’m really just curious about the future; I really want to know how things will play out. It seems a bit silly to base my mortality on seeing the plot through, but it’s worked for me..
4 comments
I have no money to live, they stole everything.
I am continuing my plot on the other side of this hell hole.
I will be dead before christmas so the world can celebrate 5000 years with their devils.
I’m out of here.
Bubbles.You can get JSA or ESA(disability) if you are skint,although ESA is hard to get now unless you have about 6 months to live
SunnySideUp, you have just said exactly how I feel; “It seems a bit silly to base my mortality on seeing the plot through.” Something is stopping me from ending it (possibly that I am not brave enough), but when I read your post it hit me that that is it! Although I have tried seeing the plot through and so far it has not been worth the wait.
Numboverhere,
It’s pretty weird, but yeah I think the waiting hasn’t really been worth it really.. I once wasn’t brace enough, but I kind of hit a point where I couldn’t handle anything anymore and I was ready (of course, there probably still is some fear). The only thing really keeping me going is just curiosity, with “what if’s”.