I ruined my life

I was born to a great family that deeply loves me. The love they have for me is immense, and it fills my heart with joy. I love you Dad, I love you Mom, I love you lil sis. I have such a bright future. School, University… I have always been very good at it. I am very good at it…. However, my private life became a source of gratification through hedonism. Slowly, I put myself into bigger risks forgetting the bigger picture. I didn’t care who I hurt as I went around searching for self gratification.  Until finally, a vengeful former “friend” decided to “destroy” me. At first, I did not care about her acts. I did not care what she did to shame me, to humiliate me. I continued my life. Until, I realized of my wrong ways. I realized that I need to change. Now, I am stuck with this helpless mistake that is slowly eating me. It is like the drop falling into the rock. It eventually pierces you. It eventually hurts you. I cannot believe that I may have ruined my whole life for such a mistake. I am contemplating suicide…. I hope that when I open this can of worms. My family forgives me. God forgives me, and that I can forgive myself. I don’t know if I have the strength to continue if my loved ones forsake me.

I am 26…