My Definition of Alone

The dictionary states that to be alone is to be separate, apart, or isolated from others. I find this very untrue. Here I sit across the hall from my sister, down the hall from my parents, on the phone with my friend and yet I am still alone. Alone does not mean you are isolated from others physically, it means you are isolated from other mentally. In my mind I have no one to talk to about anything because I am alone. I have no friends and no one that cares. Everyday I walk into school I’m surrounded by hundreds of people and I still feel alone. A very common question is ” How can one feel so alone when there are 7 billion people on this earth?” Well people can feel alone when they have so many problems and no one to listen to them. A person can feel alone when they are stuck in their room crying there eyes. A person can feel alone when they cut themselves and drink. People like me feel alone all the time. Mostly because I am alone. I know that no matter how many times I cut myself it wont matter because no one cares, it wont a difference if I do it a thousand times because no one is there for me. I know that if I’m so broken down and I try to call some one they wont answer. I know that if I died no one would miss me. I am alone in this world. Alone and unneeded. Alone and unwanted. The definition of alone is me. No one even knows I exist. People want to forget me. No one wants to know me. No one wants me. Any one who has a friend wont get this. No one understands how it feels to be at rock bottom and have no one to help at all. To have hundreds of cuts on my legs and wrist and no one to tell about it. To be drinking every night and have no one to tell about it. To have all this stuff in my life pressuring me and no one to help me deal with it. No one. No fucking one wants to deal with my problems because I am nothing, I am no one. I am alone.

I am alone in this world. Alone and unneeded. Alone and unwanted. Alone and gone.