I’ve decided to end my life tonight. It’s been coming for a long time now.
People who say everything happens for a reason are full of it.
You’d think i’d have more to say, i mean this being my last chance at it. I have nothing incite full or wise to offer you, no wisdom before i go.
Life just really sucks.
I can’t deal anymore.
I leave my two baby girls behind, i hope the worlds gentler on them then it’s been on me.
I’m sorry girls. I did everything i could. You better take good care of em michelle
11 comments
Hey Tommy, couldn’t you stick around a little while so we could maybe talk it out. Sometimes getting it off your chest to strangers can help, and we’re all in a similar boat.
And you are going to be looking down at them from H.? Maybe there gone er need there father. So why did you bread. (B/C).? 21year’s then your job is over. (do your job.) D. need there father.
I hope you’re still here to read this comment, it’s pretty late. So I agree with you, I hate when people say things happen for a reason. Can I ask why you want to kill yourself tonight? Why not tomorrow? If I don’t get a response I will assume you are gone. I hope you stay with us and I’m sure you’re two beautiful little babies hope so too. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through to want to leave when you have two girls. You must have been having an awful time with things. I always thought that if I had kids I wouldn’t be able to kill myself because I would have to survive for them. But who knows, maybe if I was put in your position it’d be different. I’d love to talk with you if you don’t mind
Hey Tommy,
I actually agree with you, but only in part, re “the people who say things happen for a reason are full of it”.
Partly agree, especially when they say it is all cosmic etc – i call ballony!
That said, everything, and i do mean everything is ruled by one invisible principle. This principle rule the entire universe actually and nothing and i do mean nothing can escape it – it’s calld cause & effect. ie every cause must have a prior effect.
eg the earth/sun/atmopshere/plants/life all have “prior” causes to their creation.
You too, or more accurately, people’s thoughts are also often (never always 100% but a large percentage) the cause ‘of their life’ (the effect).
Suicide is an easy route out from life’s challenges. Note i said “life’s challenges” , NOT your challenges. They aren’t yours alone. Sorry but life likes to “share it around” ie challenges.
You sound more self aware then most, so stick around for a little more and talk out all your problems with positive solutions with someone.
I’m always happy to help mate. You seem like a decent guy. Feel free to reply or send me your email and we can take it from there.
ps, keep your spirits & mind positive especially over the holidays. Don’t always think everyone is just having fun, they are not.
Stay cool okay…. don’t let things get to you….you’re better then that.
Regards,
AddAstra
I have no idea what to say. I’m kinda surprised anyone read it.
I want to die. It’s not some impulsive deal, it’s all i’ve thought about for a month.
and yes i feel terribly guilty about leaving my girls without a father. they’re the only reason i’ve held out this long.
I just finished a 12 week therapy for sexual abuse survivors. i thought it’d help. not so much turns out.
After being MIA since april, the kids mom suddenly reappears and takes em from me
i keep writting and deleting.
i just can’t cope.
hey okay, you honestly dont have to listen to me fine But i think ending you life now isnt what needs to happen. Your right People are stupid as fuck when they say that I should know. ive been told that my whole life. Rapes r ment to happen bull fucking shit. But in the end of it all.. i was in your place about a week ago. I was going to stab my self to death. Untill i was stopped. U should know that you ending your life wont hurt just you but others. Dumbest thing i ever heard. But im ttotal stranger and im telling you that people are dumb as hell.!! and half the people who think they are in are shoes rnt. they dont know how the pain feels. And your right life sucks Ass… BUt please dont end it because of Life. Think of it as a opertonity… Your story could save another kids life.. I guess thats how i look at it right now… And its helped me stopp cutting and such. You need someone to talk to message me or comment… Hope you didnt end it yet..
sorry my spelling sucks
Hi tommy, glad you’re still here. You obviously care a lot about your kids; hopefully you’ll be able to find the strength to show how much you care for them, by fighting to stay alive. It’s not just your battle, it’s their battle too – you’re their father and it would be a terrible thing for them to lose you before they’ve groen with you. It gives you a starting point, at any rate. A lot of us here don’t have a starting point – there’s nothing rooting us to this life; but you have put down the best and brightest roots of all through your kids and I think you should use it to keep going; and later you can repay them by being there for them.
YOU can cope. find a release. a good release. dont turn to drugs or alcohal like i did. your kids need you man. i hope you dont let the mom just take them from you. dont give uup. if you loved them, youd fight for them. dont end it. because then they have to live their life with out a father., i was also sexually abused.. i didnt take therapy for it or anything.. but im very self consious. so your not alone. but honestly. your two daughters need you. if you leave this earth.. then “bad” won. we dont want bad to win. fight your depression for your kids. all you need is something good to turn to. how old are your daughters? if their old enough, have a date night oncce a month with them or something. look forward to that.
It is kind of an impulsive thing if you’ve only been thinking about it for a month.
Bottom line, is you have to want to resolve the pain the abuse brought about in you.
It is possible but no one can make you stick with a path that allows you to go through the pain.
For whatever reason you were meant to experience it and it may be easier to process while in a physical body than not. One way or another you’ll be confronted with the pain, and the feelings of your little ones who you’re leaving. It’s your choice of course. It feels to be me that sticking it out would be better in the long run for you. All the best.
Anyone can do anything for 24 hrs, thats all any of us everhave is 24 hrs ata time. Just hang in there for another 24, break it down to 1 hr, 30 minutes or 10 seconds at a time.
Hnag on, don’t quite 5 minutes before a miracle happens.
I agree goe, don’t let ‘bad’ win.
Everyone makes choice to live and how – thats how a fact – not everyone makes good choices however.
You can live ‘in the past’ memories and thats all they are OR you can decide to say im finished with the past, it doesnt help me in any way, and decide to live “in the present” time and start maaking new positive memories.
Don’t let the past dictate your future. You decide the future, not the past. Strength requires courage. Prove you have it….. few do.