i feel extremely anxious whilst writing this as it is my first time. im starting to become very suicidal and although i have a lovely mum and sister im too embarrassed to tell them and i dont know where to turn. i am on anti depressants and although they help, i still just want to die but im too scared to attempt suicide. i live with my boyfriend who smokes cannabis and so did i until last year when i had a complete psychotic breakdown and gave up. hes extremely paranoid controlling and aggressive but im too scared to leave him and i no longer have any friends. i just feel like there is no future for me anymore. i look around and i see all the hatred and pain in the world and cannot see any good. i cant see the point in life anymore as im sick and tired of fighting for my sanity. if anyone has any helpful comments then please share. thanks a lot lucy