I’ve decided to blow a large amount of cash from my next unemployment check and purchase a bus ticket to California. I have never been to the beach. I have never been out west. I’m going to take a bus there and not tell anyone. I’ll stay until I have enough money to come back to Pennsylvania. When I return, i’m going to kill myself. It is the only thing I can think about and the only thing that quiets my racing mind and brings me solace. I have lost literally everything that has ever mattered to me. Some of it was my fault, some not so much. In any event, i’m tired of living in despair. I’m very excited for my vacation though. Going with nothing all alone will be a lovely last experience
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Way to go Molly! There was a thread a few days ago where someone suggested having an amazing experience and then deciding what to do after that. I hope you’ll make the right decision after what should be a great time spent by the ocean.
good for you, i hope it works out. i was thinking of going to california as well
Yeah, I want to see something i’ve never seen before. Ah.
I was thinking of going to santa barbara. I hear it’s super close to the beach and it’s been compared to paradise. I told myself I was going to run away, lose weight, and make cooler friends but i’m pretty sure i’ll still be unhappy
skip So. Cal, the fake people really suck. Come to SF, Monterey, Point Reyes, Marin, I’ve been here forever – drop me a note, I’ll show you around. Spring is a bit nicer, but today was 65 and sunny.
You said you will go without telling anyone,
does this mean ur parents, family, friends, boss, and basically the society that has ‘entrapped’ you in a box?
But how will u escape, for example, ur parents, without they know you will escape?
Because I might plan on doing things like this too next year…try this thing for once, and see if it could cure my insanity or not..
I really want to escape from this sick, turning-fake and shallow society and humanity,
perhaps Nature is where I really belong to..
Hi! this is my first post and comment on this site and i wanted to say “Hi ” to everybody and to say that that I love u and I hope we can be friends!
that goes for anyone who would like to be friends
we could talk on the phone or on the internet
i know what it is like to to be really sad and i know that it doesnt go any where,
anywhere good anyway
i would like to encourage everyone that even if your family and friends put you into a box you can leave that box and those people and be free and i found a way to do that.
i have lived and worked in lots and lots of places in california and right now i am in sacramento
i want to share with people who are sad my love and happiness and care.
i am very happy that i have gotten to 50 years old now.
i know that some thought it would not happen at least not without state hospitalization lol
seriously though
with all due respect to your freedom to choose i would like to encourage you to feel free to make a positive decision and know that you can always change your mind about the negative one
if any one would like to be friends with me please let me know
i have work friends but they are not as close of friends as i had been hoping
i have a husband and i have a personal realionship and i am lucky i am very lucky
our friends do disappoint us and it is easy to get mad about it but if we can let it go it can really help us to feel better.
we really can focus on something else.
like we do simple cheery things like watch TV (non depressing TV) and say I love you to each other and smile
and have coffee. and something yummy to eat
my husband is in a lot of pain and he needs pain medicine to even be able to go on.
he tries to stay cheerful all of the time.
sadness I have found to be seductive and addictive but overall useless
I have found also that like in California generally if I smile at people and are polite and at least a little friendly, many if not most will respond with a smile and a little friendliness too.
also you could get on general relief here for three months a year so you can get a card to buy food with and a little cash.
there are lots of fruits and vegetables and meat. I know this place really well
…north south and central and also neighboring states a bit.
I have lots of animals…cats and dogs and a motorhome is our home and I work with horses.
Life is not always easy but it is possible. good is better than evil for sure.
I am looking for work and there are opportunities here.
I have so much I want to tell you…I …. I just have so much that I want to tell the world.
I have always wanted to be a writer. It is my dream to be a great writer.
I want to say to that what helps me too and my husband
is to have a foundation.
okay. then it was my first post and I hope no one minds that I wrote for so long
talk to you later if u like
From California. over and out
.Diane
anyone can write me on yahoo
I am thegoddessdiane.
thank you
also I like reading and I am not telling you everything… I like want to be respectful to the rules of this website . I think you. you could ask me questions too and I could give reasonable answers but don’t give up if you want to figure things out yourself…but if you need the answer I know many things which I will be glad to share on request I would like to write them all down for Gods world and if anyone would rather help me than die….I would so like help..
I have tried to do all things by myself with Gods help and my husband’s help but I am now preparing to reach out to other people. my husband can not hardly walk and I don’t have a licence to drive and I need money…..but I know my God will provide…he has…he will…he promised…and that right there is worth living for.
I am your friend.whether you are mine is up to you.
my God is yaway…the Lord God of Israel..I know him and he knows me. I know about the enemy. He pretends to be god and he tells us things that make us sad. my God is awesome good. and my husband almost jumped off a high bridge. but yaway spoke to him and said that if you jump you will just keep on falling
people if you want to find out if he’ll is real…there is an easier way of doing it. I am sorry. I don’t mean to scare you.
I just want you to know that condemning yourself is totally unnecessary. even if you deserve to die you don’t have to.even though you deserve to die you don’t have too. gotta go now
..loves ya
I will check those areas out. Thanks a lot. I don’t know a lot about california geography i’m leaving thursday. As far as a job goes, i’m on unemployment. My parents and I are estranged. My friends alienate me and I’ve been nothing but an afterthought as of late. That’s the main reason I feel so free to do this. No baggage, no obligations. I feel like I have nothing. It’s liberating