i have given up on looking for happiness and love. i dont care if im alone the rest of my life. i go to school everyday with my ipod fully charged and listening to it all day long. i dont care about anything but my school work and my art. music is the only thing i need. i sit in my school auditorium everyday after getting my food from lunch and take it into the auditorium and sit and eat alone. then i draw. thats it. that all i need is my solitude. friends dont care if im ok anymore. they say they’re tired of my “drama” and just wanna have fun. well i wanna have fun to bitches… thanks for caring so much about the person who saved you asses more then once.. who was always there for you when you were crying over a breakup or when your parents were fighting who went to your house at 11 pm and took you away and let you sleep in my bed… and yet you cant stay in for lunch to keep me company or call me to see if maybe i wanna get out of  mydepressing house…
whatever. i dont care anymore. i have my solitude. i only txt 2 people now. i only trust 2 people. and if i was ever to try to kill myself after school…. they would never get to me in time.. 1 lives 30 min away. the other works 15 min away from my house.. no one could stop me or save me… but im scared to die… so ill just stay in my solitude for awhile…. its better that way anyway.. for me…. </3
3 comments
I hear ya man, going through something similar myself right now. People claim that inalienable.only trying for attention. Yet these are the same people whose asses I have bailed out when they are in a bad state. I applaude you for having a caring heart and helping others. I thought about committing suicide when I was 9 years old. Mainly cause of bullying. Then a couple of more times later in life. I am 35 yrs old now and it is still a battle almost daily. But I won’t stop fighting, no matter how bad I want to give up. I hope you will do.the same. Though we have never met and .may never just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel and will pray that it gets better for you.
thank you very much. i will will pray that it gets better for you to.
It’s very cool to listen to your music and do your school work. When I was at school I would worry if people thought I was a loner. Now I just dont care what people think. I even go to restaurants on my own. At least we are independent. They would break down if they didn’t have a social structure. The only person you can really rely on is yourself. Whenever anyone says anything I just say yeah, yeah and go about my business. What makes their company so great. Keep up the good work.