I am a 14 year old boy. I am in a town that is full of judgmental rednecks… my life feels like hell… i wake up, go to school, and pray i don’t have to go home. I have been dead on the inside for a year and a half.. before that i was half dead. i know  you dont care about me, but, why not talk bout my life
i play guitar. i usually play Dethklok, Bring me the horizon, ect.
I lost a girl a year and a half ago… yes, there is a connection.
i cut myself to see blood…. and i regret am proud of it.
i’m a virgin by choice. i never want to have a child of mine say “why is daddy bleeding?”
to end, a example of poem.
Pain flows through my heart and veins
i lose what little i have to gain
a razor cuts into my skin
i go through this hell all over again.
cyanide washes through my heart
i feel my life fall all apart
this bullet goes through my head
tonight… i will see if i wake… up…. dead….
4 comments
Hey we’re the same age 🙂 kinda feels good to know that people my age feel the same way i do. I know how you feel about the whole half dead thing and living in a town with judgmental pricks.the poetry in the end is awesome :).if you ever feel like talking email me animecat9@aol.com
Sex doesn’t always lead to babies. And I use to like the site of my blood when I use to cut… As for.rednecks yeah I feel you I live in the.south. luckily near the city so its not as bad.
What a great title for your post; Living doesn’t mean alive.
BTW, I do care. I do understand. I used to look up at the night sky when I was a teen and ask why God dumped me on this mean planet.
I’m 67 now (I know… ancient) but I still wonder the same, yet I’m still alive, actually living and alive. Why? Because I made my own life eventually. I live in my own home in the middle of the woods with two cats. Yeah, the proverbial “old lady with cats.” Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, when you’re older. Right now that “life’ inside you that has no place to live needs to find an outlet and some support. You sound like a very sane person who has way more to give to this world than anyone around you is capable of realizing. I wish you well. If I can help in any way, just let me know.
Hello again, I wanted to add that this site doesn’t make it easy to check back on a post that offers help. So I wish you well but we might not be able to get in touch. I hesitate to list my email address on an open site. I’ve kept it clear of spam for years and want to keep it that way. Best to you… Keep fighting.