What random rambling shall be sewn together today in this post.
I’m moving forward a bit, trying my best to push dark thoughts from my mind. The nice retreat to a rented house on the beach helped too :). Realize I need to get away from home. As soon as I got back then my uberly happy mood went BLAH! It’s disappointing how people are not aware of how their actions effect others. Don’t think they really care.
I also realize that I have no real goals. Nothing particular to strive for. Right now I’m just going. Just chugging along til I run out of train track. what to do from there I do not know.
I almost took a risk today. Was going to give a guy my number. chickened out though, he seemed like a big sweetheart. lol probably shouldn’t be doing that since I have a boyfriend but I have alot of love.
Right now the only real tangible pressing matter in my life is how broke I am. Like overdraw my bank account on purpose just to have cash in my pocket. About to start selling my belongings broke. Maybe even some sexual favors, hell I give it away for free anyways, might as well make it worthwhile.
My self esteem has fell a lot lately too, so I just avoid mirrors and I’m decent. But that’s basically it in a nut shell. I’m no one special so not gone waste your time on my little thoughts. It just felt needed.
1 comment
Thank you for sharing. I hope it feels good to let some of it out. It sounds like you have a lot going on, but I hope for you that even though it’s difficult, it’s possible. I feel it is definitely possible…