Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking […]
I was procrastinating on my homework when I came across this website. I’m writing this all off the top of my head so just stand by. So I read so many peoples stories on here and noticed one thing, everyone on here is going through the SAME THING. I myself often have bad mental health and breakdowns, but you know what? nobody is perfect. AND DON’T SKIP, I know everyone uses this as a pity sentence but just spend a minute of your life reading this because you need to open your eyes. Think to yourself, do you think there is a single […]
no one understands me, no one knows how much i suffer everyday, i cant believe im depressed again. i lost my loved one, i wish i was better for them, i wish i brought myself to show love and affection, i couldnt, i couldnt even keep myself up while im being stressed from school and everything, its so hard for me after the 4th(?) break up, it killed me, no matter how much i love him nothing will be the same. i dont wanna be with him anymore but i do, im confused, im so confused, i dont know what i want but all i […]
By: yours truly (a sick in the head teenager)
TW ig idk how to do this lol um sh suicidal thought and questioning everything and also SA
Why? A question I find myself asking quite often. What is the point in anything if its all nothing. In 150 years, everyone who is alive at this moment, will be dead. Including yours truly. Though it is up to us how we spend those years. A sad realization my 13 year old self has come to is, in lets say 500 years, no one will know of my existence and probably yours as well. Unless of course you […]
I don’t know how to start. I don’t really know what’s the main problem. I know I have a shitty life and I am kind of used to it. It sucks that I have to dissapoint everyone I care for, but I am used to it. I could go on without giving it too much thought, but the problem is my girlfriend. (I’m 21, she is 19). She is a constant reminder that I am not good enough and that I don’t deserve her. She reminds me all the time of how I dated my ex (which was fat, ugly and stupid) and how she […]
Today, on this website, someone said that everyone is sad.
I fell on that person that was convinced that, after reading the rants of all the people here, that every person on this platform was sad, and that was why they were here.
I do not agree (but I understand their point of view and I respect it), simply because I am the proof that their theory is not true. I am here today, and even if I have my own problems, I am not sad, I am happy even.
And I am not here to rub that fact in everyone’s face. Each of us is different and […]
i drive away the people i love. they lose interest. i destroy myself. all i feel is pain all the time and when i’m happy its naive because it never lasts. ill never last in this world. im 18 now, but i feel like a child still. i cant manage responsibility. i let people down. they’re sick of me. i’m a waste. i build myself up just to crash and burn in the worst way at the very last second. and this fucking pain, why do i hurt so much? i’ve tried so many medications, they don’t seem to work. my intrusive thoughts come, and […]
My closest attempts were when I felt useless. When the sinking I had felt in my chest, when the lack of energy, and utter hopelessness within me had no reason to live.
More recently, I thought I was doing better. I thought that I had won over these feelings, conquered them; sending them back to the depths of wherever they came.
I guess that was probably because I had gotten a job that I love. One that I thought was too much to handle, one that brought countless nights of stress to me… but now, under this quarantine, I feel myself slipping back into old habits.
I expect […]
Ok so me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years and some change. I have not been the best boyfriend but I got myself together and made huge changes that I knew I needed to make. So last week I scroll through and see that she is in another relationship with another guy. I felt so much anger and sadness. It was a pain that I couldn’t describe but I wanted it to go away.
It hurts more because due to certain circumstances we were at her parents house and now its just me. She comes back and we cuddle and she says she […]
One thousand, one hundred and fifteen days have gone by since we discovered you were no longer a part of this universe, our universe. It has gotten easier to process but it’s still not easy. The shock of it never ceases. It is still surreal. How can I summarize in words the cluster of pain we feel everyday given your absence? Let’s see. The reality that you are missing and missed our daughter and son’s 16th birthdays, his phenomenal culinary […]
I just
want
the pain
to stop.
My friend A_____ turned 50 last year. I organized a nice little birthday gathering for him, which was especially meaningful for everyone since he’s battling mantle cell lymphoma (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantle_cell_lymphoma), and optimistically has another five years to live.
I’ve known A_____ for at least five years. I certainly considered him a friend before his cancer diagnosis several years ago, and as soon as I knew what he was facing, I promised myself that whatever support he needed, I would always be there for him.
We’ve always had a very easygoing, normal friendship. He has always treated me with nothing but […]
I’ve been looking for ways to numb myself. I get absolutely nowhere. It’s not fair, I just wanna be numb. I don’t wanna make an effort to even feel better anymore. I just wanna stop feeling emotion.
I hate being brokenhearted over my ex. I hate being stressed about going off to college. I hate that painful lump in my throat I get from crying. I hate the cold sweat I break into when I’m anxious. I hate the fire that burns in my heart. I want to be dormant and freeze my heart up for good.
I want to die, but I fear the afterlife. My […]
I’m unsure as to what to feel.
Whether that’d be to cry or to hold my chest in shear pain.
I lay in bed and hurt, as my memories flood in and take over.
You said you wouldn’t know if you’d move on, now simple days like these have me imagining what you’d do with that other person.
You said that no, it wasn’t my fault, that you were the one needed fixing.
Then why can’t you wait, why are you telling me not go wait for you.
I feel as if every time I love they become painful memories I live with, but what’s to life without love?
I don’t know […]
To have been broken and fed to hounds,
Restiched and tossed once more. I must find my own paths alone.
For I am too broken to be man,
Too heartbroken to feel winds,
Too thought provoken to be alive.
I question whether I should attempt once more, knowing very well that I’ve failed countless of times, but what else am I supposed to Do?
After all that has happened, just forget?
Pretend that it never occurred.
I believe we suffer longer than others,
I understand you want to better yourself, but in doing that it moved me eleven steps back.
I’ll act happy to win you back, maybe that’ll work.
Because with my thoughts invoked in […]
Although I may never commit suicide
I spend parts of each day thinking about suicide –
Thinking about how I lack the courage to do it.
–
I wake in the mourning with 60 per cent depression.
That’s how it remains for the whole day,
Except for the odd occasion in a year
–
In the doorway or on the street I meet by chance
For a few minutes a woman passing-by
Who has the time to stop and talk for three minutes
–
Or five minutes or even sometimes seven or eight minutes,
Who rocks back on her heels in her pink, hooped skirt
With laughter, no matter what the topic.
–
Depression and despair are two different states
Of mind, […]
Lyrics:
Four o’clock in the afternoon and I didn’t feel like very much
I said to myself, ”Where are you golden boy? Where is your famous golden touch?”
I thought you knew where all of the elephants lie down
I thought you were the crown prince of all the wheels in Ivory town
Just take a look at your body now, there’s nothing much to save
And a bitter voice in the mirror cries, ”Hey, prince, you need a shave”
Now if you can manage to get your trembling fingers to behave
Why don’t you try unwrapping a stainless steel razor blade?
That’s right, it’s come to this… Yes, it’s come to this…
And wasn’t […]
Vincent Willem van Gogh – July 29, 1890
https://www.vincentvangogh.org
http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0612.htm
http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0779.htm
I sometimes drift
Back and forth
Thinking that it’s alright
Then plummeting again
While a glance
Tells of hope
Glimmering,
A daily friend
Sees your sorrow
But dismissed it
All the same
On the edge
I found reasons
To jump
But they’re not enough
So I am begging
Bully me
Kill my loved ones
So I can finally die
Xnoir, I saw your comment.Here’s my e-mail: TafTafAttica@gmail.com . And if anyone who wants to send something to me or have a talk,mail me [please,don’t send me any viruses 🙂 ].
Also,if you want to chat,I have a Telegram account (for those who don’t know,Telegram is an app that you can install on your PC or your phone).My address is: @Taf_T .
Mind you,I live in Greece,so if you want us to have a chat,you should consider the time zone difference that we might have.
To flutterby: I saw your mail and thank you for sending it.I’ve been very busy lately,that’s why I haven’t answered to you.But,thanks again […]
I’m very new to this, suicidal forum.. straight to the point.. It’s not that I am going to or really have the urge to commit suicide. It’s the constant thought popping into my head. I will catch myself fantisizing of the idea. But these questions always rush to mind. Should I end it? What will happen to my boyfriend, family and friends? Who would show up at my viewing or funeral? How can I make the death fast and 100% effective? I’m not sure why I take the time to give deep thought if I’m contemplating to die.. can someone help me understand where I […]
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