Sorry for the explicit title…..
but that basically sums it up, last year i got into ‘Sexting’ which is gross, i know. i was pressured into by a guy who i thought was a friend, and after a while i started to fall for him, i loved it when he messaged me first and we once even stayed up until five in the morning….That changed amazingly quickly, one day we were doing our thing and the next he got a girlfriend. That hurt.
It fucked me up.a lot. i kinda feel that those past events helped me to become the person i am today.
I feel so dirty and used, i dont think i will ever be able to live down what i did with him, and the sick thing is he started talking to me again….on his birthday, so i couldnt just ignore him. we didnt do anything as he was still in the same relationship, but he talked about it.
Its been longer than a year and the first time i properly told someone about it was yesterday….
Also me and him had plans to take it all the way, i was pressured into that, i think. But we didnt actually get to do anything….
Thanks for reading my dirty little secret.
<3
18 comments
i experienced something like this, except I sought relief repeatedly through different people, and each time it felt worse…
All them men are perverts! I was married going through a divorce cause my ex cheated and beat me..during this time..a man I worked with started flirting with me..I messed around with him until I found out he had just got married. Had lost respect totally for men. A few years later I had met a guy that asked me out..I go out with him..he rapes me. Then I figured well id give my ex another chance since he promised not to ever hurt me again..this took about 5 yrs being apart from him. We married each other again. Only to find out he cheated on me again with several women..found this out by his Sexting on the phone. But it was more than just that..found condoms that he never used with me in his truck..found pictures of his you know what on other women’s you know what on his phone. Wtf..promises mean nothing. Then guess what?..the ex married guy wasn’t married anymore. He started to talk to me about what happened in the past. I was getting an apology and it was making me feel better because of what I was finding out about my husband. My husband finally admitted that he would rather be her whore than me be his wife. He divorced me. Then the ex co worker who was married when I was divorced, divorced when I was married now comes to me wanting to start all over again..only to find out he has another girlfriend..and he wants to cheat on her too. Hell, I have the best of luck finding the cheaters..I should just put a sign on my head saying don’t talk to me..I know your a cheater. I don’t want aids but how to trust after all that..I don’t want nobody!
Hey Chrissie…not all men!!! Some men just want the one that they are with to want to be with them. That’s my story in a nut shell. My wife just didn’t like me very much….didn’t wanna spend time with me. I would give anything to have someone that would want to be with me. I’m one of the good ones
Mwtele..ive heard it all..Ive given chances..ive just not cared..Ive cared too much..noone wants me..or they all want me..the way men have treated me..id rather be living in a car then to try to be with another man. I’m disgusted by my life..I’m a good person who gets treated bad..I thought well as long as I have a roof over my head and food to eat..sex is just a bonus. Now id really just like to have a roof over my head and food to eat and hide from every man I see. Seriously, men scare the hell out of me!
I understand. I’m fortunate enough to have the roof and food. I guess i’ll just wait a little while to see what happens with the rest. What is sex???? LOL. Sorry men have been so bad to you. But remember…..not everyone one is. there’s someone for every one (just not for me).
Sex is for two people that love each other. Its not a game, its not to be misused. My ex wanted group sex, the ex married guy wanted group sex. Why do I find men like this? Wth is wrong with just wanting to be with one person for the rest of your life? Why do I get beaten for not doing what men tell me..and why do men treat me like that? That’s why I’m scared to death..I don’t want to be alone..I don’t want to be with men that play these games. Its a very scary world!
I agree….sex is between two people that love eachother…..that is why i’m here. well that is what pushed me here. I wanted to be with one person for the rest of my life….but who i knew i always was, was just clarified by the one that I gave my life to. so what am i to do??? being alone sucks…truly truly sucks. at least i have a pillow to hold onto and pretend
I guess that if I don’t do anything to drastically change my life then there might be a guy out there who won’t just use me like he did…. I’m only 14 so I might be waiting a while…. :/ Xx.
yes….you will…..lol. gotta be 18…lol
SEXTING SHOULD ONLY BE USED BETWEEN ADULTS THAT ARE SINGLE AND REALLY WANT TO BE WITH ONE ANOTHER..IT SHOULDNT BE USED FROM MARRIED OR IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP..AND YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW A PERSON UNTIL YOU LIVE WITH THEM..AND IVE ONLY LIVED WITH ONE MAN. IVE BEEN WITH OTHER MEN BUT ONLY LIVED WITH ONE. MY EX HUSBAND HAS LIVED WITH MANY AND HE DISGUSTS ME!
what is sexting???? seriously??? what happened to meeting and such???
Urm…. The person I asked said sending explicit images via text or Internet and describing what you would like to do with that person……:/ xx.
Nat
If you want to have a modicum of relief just keep the sex conversation out of conversation until you really get to know the guy. From your words it seems like the guy really hurt you to the core with that and makes you doubt your own self worth.
Sex is just sex. There is no meaning to it until people add one.
The problem is those who connect it with love end up being misused by those who do not.
All one can do is be careful because it also can be a death sentence with aids out there.
So Sorry Nat,
I don’t know if anyone noticed how old you are….sorry…..it was kinda a rough night last night….with a chance of getting rougher today….lol….but i caught your post BECAUSE of the caliber of comments…..from outside i didn’t understand….sorry honey….I know what it is like to want to connect with someone….anyone so badly that it makes you vulnerable….it’s not your fault….but the truth is you have done something foolish….but not terminally so….and only because I believe you have been taken advantage of……how old is this friend you have talking and sexting with? And from what I got from your post you’re still smarter than I was….ie there was no completion of the act…..but don’t think for a moment that this person cares for you in the way you deserve to be cared for…imo this is someone that took advantage of you to get their own needs met…..don’t accept or feel shame….you are still innocent…and there is still a great life waiting for you if you will accept it….but I sense this is not the first time you have been taken advantage of…..
I hope you are back on later today….would love a chance to talk to you …..
So let me know….and again I’m sorry
Namaste
Amakua
It’s ok, you don’t need to be sorry. He was the same age as me, it’s kinda funny because he kept saying that he loved me then got a girlfriend, but he isn’t the only reason why I don’t think I can do this anymore…. Various other poetic and lyrical titled posts will explain….
Thank you, Amakua <3
And if you want to talk then just email me ?? Xx.
I would love to e-mail you Nat….but I don’t have your e-mail and don’t know how to get it…..Mine should come up with this comment….if so….drop me a line…
In the meantime….this works too….glad to know he was the same age as you….much better….was a little concerned…less so now…but still concerned….and so he did take advantage of you but not in the same way as an older boy or man might have….you’re a pretty lucky one i’d say. Will be in and out here today….let me know….and if I get a chance I will check out your other posts.
Glad you’re here and okay for now
Love, Love, Love
Amakua
Yes, kinda sucks though because he knew basically everything about me and used it to his advantage….. I have also been in some pretty horrible situations With older guys over facebook. No sexting luckily, but still a traumatic experience. I have also been In a situation with a friend where two older guys wouldn’t leave us alone, also horrible….:/
I’m not really set out to be accepted in this world :/ <3