i would ‘hope’ this isnt the happiest day of ur life and that there are many many more better days ahead of you drift …. with some effort i am sure they will come …. just stay strong and always feel free to chat.
@uttilini yeah i had my liver checked and i had to take pills to build baup th linen of my stomach because the pill ate at it @ one_day i really dont remeber nothing but taking the pills and @adastra sorry to say but it was
@drift – can you say what exactly made you happy? and were you actually happy, or just… happier? I’m kind of interested about what was going on in your head at the time, and when you woke up as well… who found you? what happened?
@one_day the fact that i might have actualy succeeded in killing myself, i was just fed up with my nightmares my school and myself and i thought tht thhe world would b better off without me in it,when i woke up i was pissed and i was crying dont really remeber why i was crying just know that i was ummm idk who found me i passed out in my room and woke up in the hospiltal
@drift – what are your nightmares about?
I don’t think the world would be better without you. Your family would be devastated for one thing… they would blame themselves and not understand and they would have so many questions that would never be answered… Are you seeing a therapist btw?
Well ive already bshared my story on my previous post but i wouldnt mind sharing it with you but im going tvo starct off wzith the sexual abuse i waS sexunaLly abused by my uncle aNd my coUSins and my sisters and brother knew about it and they would black mail me and have me have sex with the kids in our neighborhood,i felt so disguested and alone and i was so young it started at5-10 and i was also emotionaly abused by the kids in my school from preschool on up i tell you kids can be so cruel,i havr been called every name you cqn think of been put down in so many ways i ust think i had enough and sme of my deppression allso come from the neglection i recieved from.both my parents when i was thirteen my momleft us on my aunts porch and told us she would be back and didnt come back till years later although she would ocasionally come to visit.i have nightmares about all this can you imagine livung with this your whole life some people sya that was along lim ago and yeah thats true but the sars are still just as fresh you know its not the pain i can deal with the pain thats just momentary bt the scars those are there fo life theres no getting away fron those….oh and btw im only 18
OMG. No wonder you’re depressed. Can you please send me a link to you original post? I have to go soon but I want to read it later…
This is really important – are you in a safe place now? are people abusing you now? if so, you need to get away. Maybe you can go to a women’s shelter? But yeah… you should talk to your therapist about all this because she can’t help you unless you’re honest with her. Is there any particular reason who you can’t open up to her? Or is it just people in general you have that problem with?
oh. but you can spend all your time in the present worrying about what MIGHT happen in the futre, right? I mean, if your therapist can help you NOW, why not just try?
Who else left you?
Ijust have some housework I need to do but I’ll be back soon. I’ll try to find your other post as well.
My father woild always lie.to. me and my brothers saying that he would come get useand he never would.and i had this principle that was lile another mother to me i tokd her everything and a couple months after that she left the school,and when i was in the hospital there was this lady that wotked there who i became really close with and for the first time i tokd someone that i was sxualy abused and she charted it and everyone foynd out about it.i mean i know she was doing her job but after that she left and i didnt see her the rest of the time i was there i just feel like i run people off
Where are your brothers and parents now? Where are your immediate family? Do you have any close friends?
It’s interesting, because you’re giving all these examples of people who have left you but they are all kinda distant people… principal, nurse, etc. It’s like, you want to be heard or saved by people who are quite far removed from you. Which is understandable, sounds like those close to you have let you down so I get why it’s hard to trust them. But at the same time… maybe you are putting your trust in the wrong people? A nurse at hospital or a principal…well they move a lot. But a therapist… it’s their job to handle this kind of situation. They are exactly who you should be confiding in.
Yeah i guess i have put my trust in the wrong people but the people who.were supose to be here for me all left me at one pint and no im.not still getting abused sexualy my uncle who was doing it died a couple years ago and the last time my cousin tried i rain from.my aunt house to my moms which was very far away.and also i dont confide in my family because its hard to show emotion in my family you aways get mad fun of so i keep how i feel hiden
@drift – ok good. but you do need to confide in someone.. this is too big a burden to bear on your own. Right now it sounds like your best option is to talk to your therapist. How much does your therapist know?
19 comments
i would ‘hope’ this isnt the happiest day of ur life and that there are many many more better days ahead of you drift …. with some effort i am sure they will come …. just stay strong and always feel free to chat.
Did you have your liver checked? That had to reek havoc on your liver.
OD never a good idea… curious, did you have any dreams?
@uttilini yeah i had my liver checked and i had to take pills to build baup th linen of my stomach because the pill ate at it @ one_day i really dont remeber nothing but taking the pills and @adastra sorry to say but it was
@drift – can you say what exactly made you happy? and were you actually happy, or just… happier? I’m kind of interested about what was going on in your head at the time, and when you woke up as well… who found you? what happened?
@one_day the fact that i might have actualy succeeded in killing myself, i was just fed up with my nightmares my school and myself and i thought tht thhe world would b better off without me in it,when i woke up i was pissed and i was crying dont really remeber why i was crying just know that i was ummm idk who found me i passed out in my room and woke up in the hospiltal
@drift – what are your nightmares about?
I don’t think the world would be better without you. Your family would be devastated for one thing… they would blame themselves and not understand and they would have so many questions that would never be answered… Are you seeing a therapist btw?
There abiut my.past abuse and yes im seeing a therapist she help sometimes but not so much because im afraid to open up to her
Do you want to talk about your past abuse here? You don’t need to be afraid, no one knows you here. How old are you btw?
Well ive already bshared my story on my previous post but i wouldnt mind sharing it with you but im going tvo starct off wzith the sexual abuse i waS sexunaLly abused by my uncle aNd my coUSins and my sisters and brother knew about it and they would black mail me and have me have sex with the kids in our neighborhood,i felt so disguested and alone and i was so young it started at5-10 and i was also emotionaly abused by the kids in my school from preschool on up i tell you kids can be so cruel,i havr been called every name you cqn think of been put down in so many ways i ust think i had enough and sme of my deppression allso come from the neglection i recieved from.both my parents when i was thirteen my momleft us on my aunts porch and told us she would be back and didnt come back till years later although she would ocasionally come to visit.i have nightmares about all this can you imagine livung with this your whole life some people sya that was along lim ago and yeah thats true but the sars are still just as fresh you know its not the pain i can deal with the pain thats just momentary bt the scars those are there fo life theres no getting away fron those….oh and btw im only 18
OMG. No wonder you’re depressed. Can you please send me a link to you original post? I have to go soon but I want to read it later…
This is really important – are you in a safe place now? are people abusing you now? if so, you need to get away. Maybe you can go to a women’s shelter? But yeah… you should talk to your therapist about all this because she can’t help you unless you’re honest with her. Is there any particular reason who you can’t open up to her? Or is it just people in general you have that problem with?
I have trust issues everyone i thimk i can trust end up leaving me
oh. but you can spend all your time in the present worrying about what MIGHT happen in the futre, right? I mean, if your therapist can help you NOW, why not just try?
Who else left you?
Ijust have some housework I need to do but I’ll be back soon. I’ll try to find your other post as well.
My father woild always lie.to. me and my brothers saying that he would come get useand he never would.and i had this principle that was lile another mother to me i tokd her everything and a couple months after that she left the school,and when i was in the hospital there was this lady that wotked there who i became really close with and for the first time i tokd someone that i was sxualy abused and she charted it and everyone foynd out about it.i mean i know she was doing her job but after that she left and i didnt see her the rest of the time i was there i just feel like i run people off
Where are your brothers and parents now? Where are your immediate family? Do you have any close friends?
It’s interesting, because you’re giving all these examples of people who have left you but they are all kinda distant people… principal, nurse, etc. It’s like, you want to be heard or saved by people who are quite far removed from you. Which is understandable, sounds like those close to you have let you down so I get why it’s hard to trust them. But at the same time… maybe you are putting your trust in the wrong people? A nurse at hospital or a principal…well they move a lot. But a therapist… it’s their job to handle this kind of situation. They are exactly who you should be confiding in.
I read all your posts. I really need to know… are you safe now? are you still being abused?
Yeah i guess i have put my trust in the wrong people but the people who.were supose to be here for me all left me at one pint and no im.not still getting abused sexualy my uncle who was doing it died a couple years ago and the last time my cousin tried i rain from.my aunt house to my moms which was very far away.and also i dont confide in my family because its hard to show emotion in my family you aways get mad fun of so i keep how i feel hiden
@drift – ok good. but you do need to confide in someone.. this is too big a burden to bear on your own. Right now it sounds like your best option is to talk to your therapist. How much does your therapist know?
EdShe just know that i was sexually abus