I surely don’t. That is I don’t care about myself. I care so much about the people around me. The people I love. But why can’t I love me?? It just doesn’t happen for me. I try to think “of everything will be alright and I’m gonna love myself and how I look”. No. That’s not happening. I’d rather not love myself and suffer than lose the people I love the most. It takes me a lot of time to open up to anyone. It took me like over a year to open up to my best friend. But I did it. And now I can tell her anything. I know she won’t judge me. I trust her. I’ve never felt trust like that before. Its weird. To me. Before her I didn’t have a best friend I could tell anything to, or do things with her and not be embarassed. I can say how I really feel to her. But I feel so bad for my mom. She posted this picture with a quote saying how much she loves her daughter and that she will forever love me. And I just instantly started to cry. Like right now I teared up just mentioning it. I don’t say I love you to her or hug her. I just donnt like to say or do that. And I do regret it. I wish I could say that to hher and be normal. But I can’t. I really do wish I could. I love her so much. She’s my mom. I hate that I can’t express my feelings to her. WHY CAN’T I BE NORMAL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE???
Thank you for reading this.
3 comments
Your not normal cause you can’t say it. I can’t say it to my sister. I’ve tried and I literally become in physical pain trying to say it. weird. I can’t say it directly to my mom either. I have to text her, put it on facebook or write a letter. Maybe try that.
And loving yourself is a hard process. I am about a quarter in love with myself, been working on it for a long time.
You care for others – and other’s care for you. Just because you can’t share your true feelings with everyone does NOT make you strange or not normal. And like Cherry said, loving yourself is a hard process – but know it is possible.
Trust isn’t a thing you gain overnight. And I’m glad you were able to find a great friend like that to share your thoughts and feelings. A year isn’t that long anyhow, and look at the relationship you’ve built – worth it.
And as for your mom – I’m sure she knows that you love her. I too don’t ever say “I love you” to my mom or well anyone. And again like Cherry said maybe try writing it down or texting it? Seems to be easier when you not speaking face to face with the other person. You don’t always need to say the “I love you” for the person to know that you love them – like your mother.
You are NORMAL. Plenty of people ( including I ) share the problem of not being able to really express your feelings to most people. It’s a process and something I hope you put as work in progress.
Good luck with sharing those feelings 🙂