I don’t think I’ve ever felt this alone before.
I literally have no one. No one I want to talk to anyway, no one I trust.
A few years ago I was at the top of my classes, getting top marks in my advance English exams, but now, I’m a high school drop out who can’t get a job and no longer has any motivation to.
I’ve disappointed everyone, myself as well, I had so much planned, I was meant to be going to uni this year, like the rest of my friends. But now I just sit alone, in my room, in the middle of the night.
I feel like everyone is leaving me behind. And I guess they are.
I just always had higher expectations of myself. I wasn’t going to turn out like my parents, I thought I was better than that. Turns out I’m not. I thought I was special, ‘bright’. That’s what my teachers used to say. My education meant so much to me, and I just threw it all away. I just sort of gave up, in my senior year. I just quit. I can’t even tell you why.
It’s in my blood I guess, I was born into a family of failures, I shouldn’t have been naive enough to think I could do better.
It’s my own fault.
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email me thornandrose@hotmail.com you can trust me and I can give you practical advice. YOU ARE NOT ALONE x
What happened? Surely you must know something more than you’re saying here.
I can relate though and I think one of my siblings would be able to relate as well. We both did very well in school, always the top of our classes, but are now both mediocre in our careers and don’t really care about anything. Me, I think I just got burned out. I used to be so ahead of everybody and now it’s like I don’t know how to work hard, or I feel like I shouldn’t have to work hard because I feel like I’ve already paid my dues.
I personally can especially relate due to lack of friends and always being alone. I now find most of my peers are married with kids while I’ve yet to be in a decent relationship.
Maybe you can find something else to work towards. I’m struggling to find that myself but I think my heart is telling me that I want a relationship and acceptance and therefore I still spend much of my time alone.
I’m thinking the main reason I quit was because I was under a lot of pressure, I suppose, and I’m rubbish under pressure. Everything came so easily to me before and as soon as things started to get harder I panicked I suppose.
I can definitely relate in regards to relationships, I’ve never even been in one, I’ve been on dates and things but I feel like my personality only clicks with certain people, that’s why I’ve only ever had a couple close friends. But even they’re moving away from me.
That’s another one of my problems, I have nothing to work towards, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing and I want to do. I just feel like I’m wasting time.
do you have alot of ups and downs? like depressed one day, and than feel on top of the world a few weeks later?
No, I’m pretty much down all the time. I can’t remember the last time I was properly happy. I have moments, sometimes with family or friends, and I feel happy, but as soon as it’s over the depressed feeling comes rushing back in.
Yeah I can relate to you a lot.
The people I feel like I click with most, seem to distance themselves from me, while people who I have nothing in common with are constantly drawn to me.
I smile or laugh a lot but I haven’t been truly happy aside from short lived moments.
The dating relationships I’ve had I usually get lonely and say yes to somebody I’m not that into. This time I’m holding out for someone who meets my standards but I’ve been single for a long time now.
I don’t know what to fill your time with or how to solve that. People tell me get a hobby or do what you’re passionate about, but I feel more lost than ever.
hey ur not alone if u ever want someone to talk to im here e-mail me mkafan12@yahoo.com and also why not just go back to school?
Motivation is not “in the blood” it’s in the mind. I was struck with a similar malaise in my sr. year as well … except I got tossed from school altogether … ended up finally getting a GED when I went in military. Plans change, things happen, adjustments MUST be made . and University is always there, it doesn’t matter when you go. Now you know you need to be more strict with yourself so as not to get distracted from your NEW plan 😉
dawg
“The dating relationships I’ve had I usually get lonely and say yes to somebody I’m not that into. This time I’m holding out for someone who meets my standards but I’ve been single for a long time now.”
awwww