I don’t really know what to say except that I’m hurting.
I’m lost in the blackest of blues and the coldest of blacks; the half-light is gone. There are no stars and I have no compass. I walk the flat lands knowing where you are, but knowing I can never go there again. Emotional pain slams into me wave after wave only to wrap itself around my heart, squeezing, before releasing for the next wave.
I’m so sorry for what I did to you, yet, there is nothing that I can say, no amount of self-flagellation that can redeem me in your eyes — I’m a rat.
My apology, my fear, my loss, my desire — they are multiplied by infinity and taken to a depth of forever.
You are my one true love; my first love from the beginning.
The ghost of you still lingers.
6 comments
Woah, spoon… one of those bands that are so underrated that I’m always suprised when other people have heard of them.
I’m sure you won’t believe me, but it WILL get better. It might take a long time, but it will. The sun will dawn, the desert will flourish and you will find your compass, because that is the way of all things, and it’s IMPOSSIBLE that anything will stay the same forever.
It will get better. I promise.
I wish you were right. But, this has been going on for over a year in regards to a specific person other than myself and since 2009 in regards to me being lost. The sun was high in the sky when I was with her — there was still a chilling wind — but the earth was beginning to flourish with color. Then I screwed up and darkness came again; it’s penetrated my bones.
I blotted out the sun.
Well I never said it was going to be quick. It took my ex 2 year and 2 new relationships to fully get over me. I think the new girlfriends really helped speed up the process.
Have you ever heard what happens to people who get lost in cave networks? Because it’s pitch black, they lose all orientation. Some people have been found after 15mins inside a cave, lying on the floor… they thought they were standing upright. The point is, it’s easy to get lost. But it’s pretty impossible for one person to blot out the sun. Jut focus on finding your way out of the cave.
2 years and 2 relationships. Beer would have been an ample substitute.
@duke – there was plenty of beer, hard liquor and class A drugs in the mix. I never said it was easy. But we all get there, in the end.
@quioticnomad, those were NOT suggestions btw… new women will suffice.