no one understands me, no one knows how much i suffer everyday, i cant believe im depressed again. i lost my loved one, i wish i was better for them, i wish i brought myself to show love and affection, i couldnt, i couldnt even keep myself up while im being stressed from school and everything, its so hard for me after the 4th(?) break up, it killed me, no matter how much i love him nothing will be the same. i dont wanna be with him anymore but i do, im confused, im so confused, i dont know what i want but all i […]
Miguel De Unamuno – An Eternal Elegy
Oh Time, Time,
Oh terrible mystery!
The past does not return,
it never comes back again,
Yes, ancient, but always the same,
. . . . . . . . . . . .
When consciousness is deprived
of the passage of time,
what is it that remains?
What happens to light if the mirror is broken?
. . . . . . . . . . . .
They say that I’m a lucky woman,
being healthy and successful,
living in good, rich Germany.
But sometimes I wonder
if people are blind
and completely heart-deaf here.
A few weeks ago,
I was waiting in a hotel –
A guest from Australia
was walking through the lobby.
A mobile on his ear.
I heard him talking:
„They are like robots here,
all of them!“
He couldn’t see me in the corner.
Then I just read HERE
from this young man
Complaining pretty much
about the same things over there.
Is there any better place?
I doubt. I traveled a lot.
Will the doors of our perception ever be cleansed?
It was an irritating morning, upset stomach and mind full of dreams. it was somewhere back to 2014, 12th grader, happily passed harsh teenage years, I was never anything special – in my own special way. Didn’t achieve too much, didn’t succeed at everything – “blank normal”.
“BACK in those days” :
I had my own problems: my dad wasn’t supportive or even “there”, even tho all allong he was 20 km away from me. Didn’t look good, was sick with horrible sickness, couldn’t find love, didn’t had time to go out with friends. Had avg grades even if I tried to get better. argh…. Regular […]
Sorta upset. Sorta not. Mostly disgruntled. Okay, I’m pretty upset.
Its my birthday in a few days.. April 15th. I’m turning 18. Having a dumb party and all that good shit. Which.I’m excited about, yeah. But after that I have to take my fucking GED test that I’ve been studying for for years now on top of regular high school. (Its a weird homeschool situation.) sorta upset I had to drop out. That my high school diploma I would get if I didn’t drop out wouldn’t even count. Really upset that I have to take this dumb fucking test. I just want to pass. I’m so […]
Wow… it has been over three years since I have been on this site. I found a new site I have been posting on more recently called inkvite. But I would like to take a step back and tell you my story…
As a child I had extremely bad separation anxiety but none of my doctors ever believed my mom. As I got old my mom noticed characteristics of ADD/ADHD in me and she tried to get me tested but no one would test me. She eventually gave up her fight.
As a middle schooler things started getting bad. I was always picked on and bullied. […]
i need someone to talk to…
i can’t deal with all the voices, the pain, the loss, the live…
i never noticed how heavy air is…
i wanna be me again… before all this happened…
the only way is to start again…
email me : email@example.com
[contact-form][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Website’ type=’url’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]
So this is my first post on this site and I am going to talk about something that just happened in my life and nearly -or did- messed up my efforts and trashed my hopes… I don’t even know why I am writting this here but I guess I have nothing to lose, that’s all… But just before really getting started, I just want to warn that I am French so I am really sorry if I do mistakes 😡 >.<
I struggle with depression and self-harm for now over a year. I did my first cut just before the start of April 2015. I had […]
Not really sure what to do anymore. Just let go of my antidepressants about 3 weeks ago after a 13 month period. Didn’t make me feel much better and the side effects were bad so I quit. Suffering now from discontinuation syndrome which is terrible. Brain zaps, sweats, aches you name it. I can feel myself slipping back into the same dark pit I was in before I started taking them. Feeling hollow/empty inside again, pretty much feeling like a waste of space and unmotivated to do much. Got that view of life again. The one where everyone seems to have succeeded and I failed. […]
Everything in my life is gone. My partner, my friends and my work. Life is not really worth living. I feel so much pain, anxiety and will not living. I feel the end is near. I had it all and lost it all.
Chimichangas are awesome, and so is General Tso’s Chicken, but Thursday I discovered that if you consume both of them in the same day, you will fart approximately 1,391 times. Which isn’t the best situation if you’re in public trying to get things done.
Also I went to pick up my refills Thursday and the pharmacy LOST my prescription. As in, I wasn’t even in their system anymore. So they had to look me up in a different computer and refill everything all over again. And it took them FOUR TIMES before they finally put it through the right insurance and got everything to ring up […]
Oh my gosh, I have been trying to remember the name of this site for the life of me! I’ve looked every where for it for the past two years and then *BAM* I finally found it! No, I just went back through some of what I wrote and I feel bad for my past self; I was not a positive person, but I know it wasn’t my fault that I was depressed. No, here’s what’s happened the past couple years – p.s. sorry for the long story.
My best friend moved to Arizona in December of 2014; I missed her like crazy. I went out […]
It’s Easter Sunday and all I can think is that my life could not possibly be more hopeless. I am 40 yrs old and I have accepted the fact that I will never have a husband, never have children. I haven’t been able to find a job. I’m stressing out about the 2 job interviews I have tomorrow. Everyone else I know is celebrating today with their families and I am laying in bed all alone unable to move. All I want is peace. If I fail to find a job again this week I think I will finally try to end my […]
I have this urge to cut my arms again after months. But I don’t want to be interrogated again. Every time the blade is touching my skin, I would remember the day they found out. It was horrible. But I want to cut so bad. I did cut on my hips as an alternative but it doesn’t feel the same.
I feel so frustrated. I hate my horrible life decision. I hate myself for being a stupid and empty person. They’re expecting an adult but I don’t know how to grow up. I don’t know. I feel so lost.
Lost my job. Got bills. Leg ulcer that is killing me. No family. No friends. Plus, I get the “bonus” of living in America which means that without money I will eventually become one of the walking dead on the streets. Love to live in this isolating, uncaring, self absorbed society. Opportunities abound!! As long as you have the money to pay for them!!
America only works for the managers and bosses who pay employees as little as they can to maximize their own profit. Heaven forbid they should want to share the wealth they made on the backs of the employees that actually made their […]
I dont even know what to write here, im so lonely, i dont know where home is. Im so embarrassed about how i get when im upset. Im weird and it feels like nobdoy could possibly love me. Its 4:43am and im always awake at this time, i dread the sun coming up so badly every morning. I sleep all day and that helps but at the same time i think it’s not doing me any good. I haven’t worked in like a year. I just dont feel alive, all i crave is to be held but girls dont even like me, im not ugly […]
I have always dreamed of myself dying at a young age and I hope it happens. If someone asked me if I could reverse my birth, I know I would. There is no other possible answer for me. My family always says I’m useless, so why should I be here? I don’t ever get why some people say that life is a gift. Whenever I’m in the car, I always imagine some car or truck crashing into me, killing me. Instantly or not, I just want to die. But the one thing that is holding me back are my friends. My closest friend, we have […]
I feel lost and very alone. I’m hurting, it’s nothing new and I have been for a very long time. The issue is I’m so alone. I have very few people in my life, and while I’m close to them I’m scared to ask for help. I love them so much I can’t stand the thought of dragging them down into the agony I’m feeling myself. I feel if I was gone they would mourn for a few months and move on faster than the horrible drama and ridicule that comes from dealing with “professionals”. I’ve been down that route and wasn’t helped. It got […]
I was hanging in the bathroom by my neck 20 min ago and my legs went numb. I wasnt strong enough, so I let my self down. I’m a 23 year old women and I’m in college. I am very alone. I don’t like to express myself emotionally because I tried it before but no one understood me. Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone out there who feels like no one in the world understands you- who feels alone. I don’t know where to go or where to turn. I feel suffocate- stuck in a corner- always pretending everything is alright. But I’m tired and […]