People stare at me like im weird..a freak..an outcast..when they see my scars. You dont think about the scars when you cut do you? You just want to see the blood pour down your arm and drip onto the floor. It distracts you from the real pain..whatever your pain may be. They watch you from behind friends as you pick up a knife to cut your steak…whisper when you paint your nails and toenails black..laugh when you wear long sleeves in the summertime..in florida..just to cover up these scars..that forever remind you of what you lost..but i..i wouldnt trade mine for the world..I’d trade only the people who stare disgustedly at my old and new scars.
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Sometimes I feel proud of my scars, too. But other times I don’t. Sometimes I hate them. I guess it’s not the scars that I hate. It’s the lack of social acceptance for depression and suicidal acts/behaviors. I’m not saying that people should be okay with suicide and self-harm. But they should be understanding. I can’t even begin to explain some of the horrified looks I’ve gotten before when I forget to take a jacket out with me.
Anyways. Good for you. Your scars are a part of who you are. We are freaks, and we are outcasts…but who the hell would want to be anything else? Not me. Normies are boring, and happiness is an illusion. Most people who have their shit together are usually standing in it.
They really should be understanding..or at least if they see an obviously suicidal person, not give them looks that could kill. The lack of social acceptance is what kills me almost every day. I just need help..not stares. Thank you for reading and commenting <3 It makes me feel better when i feel that im not so alone