And in the end, there is nothing, nothing more than the silent, empty, cold reality of death. No more tears, no more pain, no more suffering… Just the empty reality of a pain-filled existence now come to pass. Laid to rest in the cold, hard ground in the middle of winter, while the only ones who cared about you try to tell others how much they cared about you, but you know the truth: it was a lonely existence with half-hearted lovers who want to leave but don’t want to disappoint, backstabbing people who called themselves your best friends, and depression so strong that days […]
I’m not sure where to start with this, so I’ll just pick a place and begin. Currently I don’t have any friends or anyone to talk to. I don’t want to get attached to anyone because if I do decide to go through with suicide, then it’ll just be another person I hurt.
I’m 21 and over the last five years, my life has been nothing but oppression. High school was hell. I could not fit in with anyone and was occasionally picked on because of my unnaturally high voice for a guy. I basically isolated myself from everyone since I was ashamed of my voice. […]
growing up in this house has been very difficult for as long as i can remember. prior to that, though ive been told its not possible (by my perfect controlling mother) i remember sitting on the couch at just about 2 yrs old watching my mother and father sitting at the dining table arguing, then he ripping his gold necklace from around his neck and sliding it across table to my mother, a gift from her. then storming out and taking off in his brown camaro. i dont remember very much whatsoever of the next 6 yrs at all. as if i skipped right over […]
there are an awful lot of stories on this site, but every story is different right? the base feelings of despair are mixed into all of them, but how you came to be there and what you plan to do is always different. most of us are suicidal, hence the name “the suicide project” i suppose. i am no exception. but maybe it’s time i told the whole story of how i came to be here and what i plan to do.
my story is not filled with rape or abuse or anything like that. ive never been the loner at the back of the […]
for the millionth time, I just said ”I’ve had enough”
I typed in that phrase into google and saw web pages about depression.
I don’t want to read articles about depression and how you should go to your doctor and how you need to get ‘better’… because, I don’t think I have depression. I don’t want a label for being sad for a reason. I know it may sound strange… I’m just sick of life, I don’t like it… I wasn’t made to like it, from the beginning.
The thing is, […]
I am a 27 year old man.Â I am writing this because I don’t know what else to do. I am sorry if this is extremely long but I feel as though I just have to get this out of me.Â I will understand ifÂ no one were to read this.
I often feel hopeless about everything in my life.Â As a child I grew up in a small town North of a major city.Â I had friends, played lots of sports but often felt like an outcast for no reason in particular.Â I would often become very angry if anyone rubbed me the wrong way.Â […]
Going on here, I know I would never be able to commit suicide. I’m too much of a wimp to do it, and would only be able to do so purely on impulse depending on my mood and surroundings. But I still have suicidal thoughts. I don’t know why I’m here or what my purpose is for being here. I don’t belong anywhere. Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like an outcast. I’ve never had a clique of friends I truly belonged to, and if there was, I wasn’t important enough to be invited to hang out, I was more the person they […]
Im not gonna try to post something extremely witty and dark and intellectual and poetic.. i just cant sleep again and im hoping that posting this will clear my mind and i could get some advice from people who possibly feel the same way as me. I could list every terrible thing thats ever happened to me and all the times ive tried to kill myself and all the addictions ive had but thatd take too long and im tired and lazy. So basically, im depressed, im bipolar, im insecure, im lonely, and i feel like nobody cares about me apart from my immediate family. […]
Iâ€™m reaching my breaking point. Last night, I wrote my letter. I plan to do the deed in August. I would do it sooner but I promised a good friend I would help decorate when she moves Â in July. Initially, I planned to go out on my 40th bday. You know give myself one last chance to make something of myself and turn this miserable life around but Iâ€™mÂ EXHAUSTEDÂ â€“physically, mentally, emotionally.
I got into a good college after high school but I ruined it by dropping out after my junior year. My life has been on a downward spiral ever since then. Â I’veÂ spent the last fifteen […]
Years have gone by already since I died. I’m not saying I’m a ghost, but I’m pretty close to being one. My family’s all buried in their graves. My step-father thrown in prison. And I’ve died along with it. It’s not like I want to suicide. Life’s okay. But I don’t see the point in living though. No one’s ever gonna be able to watch me grow up. The rest of my extended family has shunned me, and I’m an outcast to them. If there was something I could do about this, I would. I have lots of close friends who know my story, but […]
Let me start this off by saying that I donâ€™t have a bad life. I have two loving parents. I have a brother, a sister, and a sister in law who all love me. I also have a niece and many aunts, uncles, and cousins who love me. Yet, I still feel alone. I feel like nothing I do matters. I feel like Iâ€™m drowning in the ocean and every once in a while I catch some air, only to be forcibly dragged back down into the current.
I am not a horrible looking person but I refuse to live the â€œsocial normâ€ that people […]
Isn’t it ironic? A young adult takes his life and his entire community is shocked, startled…sorry. The social media sites will be flooded with posts, somewhere along the lines of “RIP *insert name here* – you were loved and will be missed dearly”. Why does no one bother telling him that before it was too late? Why do people only start to care when the last breath struck his body? Some will answer: because they didn’t know. So what? Does a person need to be openly suicidal, in order to receive some love and affection? When did it become a heroic deed to remind the […]
Im 19, A few years after I was Born my parents divorced and my mom and I moved away from the big city to a smaller city not to far. The divorced didnt effect me much because I was so young but it showed in my mother and she began to drink a lot.
by the time I was in grade 3 I was very unhappy with life, There was rarely any food to eat in the house and I was in a very abusive relationship with my mother. I was regularly running away from home and staying with my grandmother who lived in the same […]
Insecurity is a part of our lives. Itâ€™s what strikes the fear of rejection into us. Insecurity is something that drives us to perfect ourselves, so we can â€œfit in.â€ Weâ€™re scared of rejection and just want to be able to fit in. Butâ€¦ So many people, so many guys and girls alike are judged on their appearance, and personality. It hurts to get judged. Rejection hurts, being an outcast because youâ€™re not as pretty as someone you know.. hurts. There is one thing you have to always remember though, people who see only the ugly in others, do so because they don’t want to […]
Insecurity is a part of our lives. It’s what strikes the fear of rejection into us. Insecurity is something that drives us to perfect ourselves, so we can “fit in.” We’re scared of rejection and just want to be able to fit in. But… So many people, so many guys and girls alike are judged on their appearance, and personality. It hurts to get judged Rejection hurts, being an outcast because you’re not as pretty as someone you know.. It hurts. There is one thing you have to always remember though, you are perfect just the way you are, with every flaw you have. Anyone […]
im an outcast. i wish i was normal, i wish i wasnt this broken. maybe they’d like me then. maybe i’d be accepted. but it wont happen. i dont know how to fight the demons in my head and i have no energy left to do so. where my heart should be,its empty. if you look close enough,in every picture of mine,my eyes just look dead. they are dead. arent they the windows to your soul.
im completing the process; the date’s may 24th. its a friday. noone will know,probably. this time it will work, i have everything i need im sure its enough to […]
I’m the youngest of seven kids. The baby, the brat, the drama queen, the outcast.. you name it, they’ve called me it. Everybody says it’s just because they’re my older siblings and they’re suppose to tease me, but this goes beyond that. They’ve hurt me physically, emotionally, verbally.. Once again, you name it, they’ve done it. IÂ worshipedÂ the ground my second oldest brother walked on. He was my hero and my idol. He spit in my face when his girlfriend came along. He left me with my drug addict mother who let her boyfriend and her ‘customers’ do whatever they wanted to me. She knew, and […]
I was told that I am incapable and irresponsible. That is true and I was ashamed to realize that.
When I was young, I thought that I will grow up to be a socially desirable person–but I am nothing close to that.
People think that I am a weirdo, outcast. I do not ever hang out with people anymore. I stay home most of the time unless I have to go out for grocery shopping or something.
I cry a lot. Every time I cry, I am in a pain and sadness. and anger. I cannot get used to being alone and crying.
There have […]
I’m a product of fucked up rage
Higher masses breed hate and discrimination
Only to further strengthen my cage
They feed the mindless mases lies
These are the screams of the outcast trying for a revolution
Mindless masses bore masscarades of confusion
YOuths lose reality in the game of life
Telling themselves to win one last fight
A fight to take their lives
A fight to whisper in the ear of th e higher masses
In turn they scream of a nation under God needing to arise from the ashes
This is the new holocaust
The outcast are now the ones persecuted
This is not […]
For as long as I can remember I have thought of suicide, even back in elementary… I had no friends until the 4th grade. Things were okay until i shit my pants in the 5th grade therefore once again becoming an outcast. No friends in high school even though it was a fresh start I was still too awkward to make friends. Even when the thoughts are gone or I think everything is going good, it comes right back. Why cant I shake these thoughts? Im a loser and a weirdo, I have no friends and no one likes me. The only reasons I havent […]