I keep forgetting…

Ofcourse you’re being selfish. So are they; and so is every other living creature on this planet. It’s wired within all of us to prioritise our preservation above all else as a function of evolution.
Don’t be fooled by the illusion that is morality: a device of deception created to conceal an inherent need to placate one’s conscience. You act upon your conscience not because of some arbitrary notion of righteousness; but because neglecting one’s conscience triggers emotional turmoil – a hindrance to an individual’s well-being. It is no different than taking a painkiller to alleviate physical distress or feeding oneself when hungry.

If your continued existence requires you to suffer – either physically or psychologically – with greater severity of discomfort than you would ever experience in doing wrong by your friends and family, then you cannot be blamed for acting to alleviate that pain.

Recognise the fact that no other individual on this planet experiences the exact feelings that you do; thus they are not in a position to judge your actions. They can lecture, but they can not substantiate their judgement with any evidence to prove that they would not have done the same in your physiological state.
You are the ultimate authority on the validity of the choice you contemplate; for the choice will affect you directly – for better or worse.

Don’t misinterpret the message I’m trying to get across though. You have to understand that by taking your life, you are on a one-way ticket to the unknown; which is in most likelihood the abyss – complete obliteration. The decision cannot be reversed; and life will go on without you.

Your family and friends will suffer for a while, but they will learn to enjoy life once again. The world will continue to rotate on its axis and travel around the sun; and people will continue to grow without you. You will be nothing more than lifeless matter – eventually reinvested into the Earth’s natural ecosystem to be used for the creation of new life later down the road. Like fertiliser, your body – and your brain – will become nothing but a pawn in the circle of life.

Human civilisation finds itself in a curiously exciting time. Technology is being developed at an unprecedented rate that might very well see lives extended by centuries before you pass on from natural causes.
Do you enjoy video games? Virtual reality will offer you the chance to see, feel and lose yourself in a new and better world; where all the worries that you experience in reality are forgotten. Innovation in artificial intelligence will open up doors that we have yet to fathom. The prospect of combining advanced VR with advanced AI is quite an exciting one – and one that will almost definitely come to fruition within your lifetime.

What I’m saying is that you’ll miss out on the chance to see what’s in-store for humanity within the next few decades. If you were going to kill yourself, this would be a pretty wasteful time to do it.
However, like I said earlier; I do not live in your body and perceive the world through your mind. Only you can truly determine whether or not the pain you feel on a daily basis is tolerable enough to persevere through in the hope that things may improve in the future.
I’m not trying to talk you out of suicide. What I am trying to do is give you as much information as I can so that you can aptly make the decision that serves you best.

Personally, I’m not dead because I won’t give the rest of the world the satisfaction of coercing me into taking my own life. But then again, I’ve been told that I’m a stubborn bastard. Do with that what you will.