Believe me, it only looks that way.

Everyone always assumes my life is so perfect. No one really know how it is, not even my best friend. Everyone always tells me how smart I am and how they like how cheerful I am and how perfect my life must be and how great my family is, its true I have a good family, not perfect at all, but good. Why would anyone want to kill them self when they have such a good life. What these people don’t see is that its not like that, I’m not smart, I’m not happy and cheerful, I’m not pleased with myself at all. Its all just a act so people don’t see the real me. I don’t want people to see how depressed I am and how unsatisfied I am, who would want to see something so ugly. I have reasons for life, but sometimes it just feels like those thing are nothing compared to how bad I feel on the inside, I want to stay here and grow, but I just don’t know why I should. At this point the only thing that keeps me going is little thing, I’m on edge at this point, no around really understands how I feel, perfect, that’s what they see. Believe me, it only looks that way