I’m a worn out friend. Old and worn out. Like my old shirt I’m not using anymore, just laying in my wardrobe. This is like clothes. You’re maybe tired of your old shirt you have been wearing for years so you decide to look for a new one, a better one. Maybe you’re throwing your old shirt away, or you feel like it may get useful someday so you just throw it in your wardrobe. It just ends up laying there forever until you one day decide to clean up and throw away old clothes you’re not using anymore. But when you finally find the […]
Again it is another refusal. Another No!! This time though it’s a no without a strong reason. It’s just a repeat of old information.
WE DON’T BELIEVE YOU. YOU DON’T HAVE PROBLEMS. YOU MUST BE LYING. YOUR LIFE SEEMS FINE. GO HOME NOW.
After much ado, I have been shot again. I fought with my last ounce of strength and feel I can go no further. I have people supporting me but I have let them down. I am paranoid, stressed, in pain, frustrated, angry, and just destroyed. How can something without form have a form. I am nothing but I exist still.
I saw my solicitor today. […]
I’ve never believed this before.
So naive of me.
Naive enough to settle around with the idea that people are to be trusted and to be humbled the fact that they will always keep you sane.
Never believed in such saying until friends turn to enemies and laugh turns to frowns and until then when my heart has been shuttered by the awful truth that friends can be a sharp tool towards the breaking of your own sound mind.
And so when i felt my world crushing down, I came to the standing ground of believing that the only one you can trust is yourself.
i’m developing weird feelings for my friend. I really like him, but I can’t tell if he feels the same..
i’ll leave it for now. nothing good comes of feelings like these, or confessing them.
I just wish I didn’t catch romantic feelings for every person who is nice to me. it’s kinda pathetic.
I just.. guess I’m so starved for love, I latch onto anyone who shows any affection towards me (platonic or otherwise)
I’m tired. I’m so tired. maybe something good will be brought on by tomorrow.
Hello guys! I haven’t used this website in 2 years and seeing my older posts are quite a strange experience. I came here in 2014 because isolation and depression pushed me to the edge, rock bottom, or whatever. Started feeling depressed 10 years ago! It’s my Sadniversary and I thew up my birthday cake. My birthday was wednesday and I had a violent indigestion, because why the hell not. Well this feeling persists, yet again. The reason I’m here today is because even if I do feel this pain, this need to die, this very heavy weight of self shame and being worthless, it is […]
I am 16 and in a week I’ll be 17.
Today my dad spoke with my teachers and talked about how I’m doing in school (grade 11).
The usual stuff they say:
• I’m quiet
• I sit alone (in some classes)
• I don’t participate in classes
those kind of things.
My teachers also said how bad I’m doing. And my parents didn’t react that well.
My dad is pissed at me.
And my mum hates me. She always says that “I’m useless” and that “no one will hire me for a job” and that “I’ll be picking up garbage and living on the streets.” And she’s always adds that “I’ll be dead […]
Long story short im dieing, not actually dieing but spiritually and mentally. I dont feel alive among other things. The only thing I wanted in life was this friendship with a friend and we became really good friends. My happiest moments was when we were hanging out and i dont mind that my life was completely falling apart. Some shit happened that was out of my control but we stopped being friends and i tried to kill myself for 2 months because I had never felt so alone. I didnt really have anyone else or anyone I cared about. I stopped because we started being […]
My suicide note. I’m still working on it. I’m still waiting for help even though I know I’m only fake hoping. I don’t have a purpose anymore. Living is a torture every single day. I set myself a date. I planned everything. I’m pretty hopeless.
Anyways. Here you go, enjoy? I don’t know. Do whatever you want to do with this:
Hey. It’s me. I’m that shitty girl who killed herself because she’s a weak-ass depressed kid who’s only great at complaining and seeking for attention. You probably heard about me now, you’re probably gossiping about it. Anyways, I’m writing this letter because soon enough I’ll be […]
A few days ago, a classmate noticed the cuts on my wrist.
Today, a friend of mine saw the cuts too.
I told them it was nothing, that I only got them for being mean to cats (Don’t get me wrong, I love cats.). I know what I said was such an awful thing to say especially when even you can see the truth beyond your own lie. It’s just that I couldn’t quite think of anything to use as an alibi anymore.
I’m afraid sooner, more people would start to notice the slashes on my wrist and think I’m a weirdo, or worse they might think I’m someone […]
I hope this year won’t take a lot from me.
Just as soon as I thought this school year was gonna be alright. Turns out I was completely wrong.
My so-called bestfriend turned her back towards me. She ignores me like I don’t exist.
One time they played volleyball. One player backed out so my ‘bestfriend’ asked for replacements. i excitedly said “ME!” but the moment I did so, she became disappointed and sad. So I wanted to back out. But then I decided to think “oh maybe it’s just in my head.” Then, before i joined, she was energetic and playing real hard. But as I joined, she became lousy and as if she wanted to […]
This is not a cry for help. Technically, this is seeking attention, but only in the sense that I wish to speak about suicide without entertaining the notion that someone will attempt to interfere. I just…want to talk to someone who might understand.
heads up everyone, i ramble. i feel nothing and at the same time i have so many thoughts that i cant think, so this is basically emotional throw-up. read it. or dont. im mostly just putting my thoughts down so that i can understand them better myself.
i was angry and sad today, as i often am, and stumbled across this site. whoever started it, kudos to you, because its nice to talk to people who understand, rather than broken records saying ‘dont be depressed, be happy’. lovely, i will just do that then. oh wait, i dont know how. its not a simple thing, though it seems like […]
You’re most likely wondering why I so boldly asked for you to read this post. Well, I did so because I have something to say that I believe will benefit you, no matter if this site applies to you or not.
I’ve had an unbelievable amount of personal experiences in my life that in reality could have shattered me from the start but instead, here I am writing this post. I’m […]
Is it better that we have the choice to say goodbye, very possibly for the last time?, Or is it better not to have a goodbye?
Really I’m sure it’s the first one. At least than you can accept when someone goes that it’s true, …maybe
I guess it’s hard either way most of the time,
“No sir, I don’t like it”
I feel that friendship is more fragile and more important compared to a relationship. I don’t know, but it’s like whenever my friends suddenly act cold, it hurts so fucking bad I just add a few more cuts just to be able to feel. Fucking hell it makes no sense.
Honestly, it really fucking terrifies my how much of a hold this person has over me. All she has to do is say a word, and I think I’ll just fucking crumble. She’s not even the person I’m in a relationship with. But I’d rather lose him than her. It’s really difficult and just tiring to […]
I thought it was going to be Just another normal day in my life today. But No think again honey. I had the busiest and most stressful day of my year so far, it went from a pop-quiz, to a partner project with someone who never does anything and I was assigned them so I “could help them understand the topic and language because I understand it so well.” getting into a fight with a douche bag boy in the hallway, then went to a workout session, to a soccer game, to basketball practice, where I didn’t arrive home until 9:30 at night, I still […]
Today in class I tried brushing the topic that I could be suicidal and depressed, and I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was like “I hate her, she pisses me off, she makes me want to kill myself.” And after he said that I looked at him and was like, “first off the fuck bro?” and “Don’t say that, because you don’t mean it, there are people in this school who actually want to leave this earth for good and you saying that doesn’t help anything. Try not to say it anymore, okay?”
I basically had to tell him […]
(….all of the words I wish I could say….)
I know you will never see this, however, I have to get this off my chest. I can pretend for a little while, at least for a fleeting moment, that you’ll see this note and your sea blue eyes will look on my words. I can dream, anyway– even if I have not slept for two days, I can day dream that you will read this. I can pretend you’re here, and that this nightmare that has become life never began.
This nightmare used to be a story of friendship and love, but it is now something […]
Yesterday I went to a party with some close friends. The party ended up being at an apartment complex on the sixth floor. The night went on and things were fun for a while, but then it was like something inside me snapped, or changed. I couldn’t breathe, I felt warm, and I got blotchy and flushed. I went outside onto the balcony. Once I closed the sliding door, I felt so alone. I’m scared of heights, but for some reason I went and leaned over on the railing. Instead of panicking like I usually do when so high up, I stayed and looked down. […]