Again it is another refusal. Another No!! This time though it’s a no without a strong reason. It’s just a repeat of old information.
WE DON’T BELIEVE YOU. YOU DON’T HAVE PROBLEMS. YOU MUST BE LYING. YOUR LIFE SEEMS FINE. GO HOME NOW.
After much ado, I have been shot again. I fought with my last ounce of strength and feel I can go no further. I have people supporting me but I have let them down. I am paranoid, stressed, in pain, frustrated, angry, and just destroyed. How can something without form have a form. I am nothing but I exist still.
I saw my solicitor today. Judicial Review is a possibility but where am I to find the funds. I’m not allowed to work, I have no savings and have not expensive goods to sell. So I am stuck in my situation. I am stuck again with no end in sight. I cannot see through those thick walls that blanket me but this brings a choking feeling to it. The air has been sucked out of the void and I cannot breathe. Even now, I struggle to breathe.
I found this website by chance. In a desperate attempt to regain my focus I thought perhaps find someone who feels the same as you are right at this moment. You might not be able to find them outside because it’s almost midnight so find someone online.
The storm within rages on. It demands for blood. My blood. It says to me “If you had succeeded in ending it all when you were younger, this pain wouldn’t have carried on for this long”. This is true. This is very true.
Shall I tarry a little longer? Will my pain ever end?