I haven’t posted on here for a while because I thought I was beginning to feel a bit better, just today though I realised nothings better. Unemployed, hopeless, boring, waste of space, scared and pathetic are a few words to describe me. I think the only way I’m ever gonna improve is if I leave this god forsaken country (Scotland). The arrogance of people here and the same routine of going out getting drunk and making fools of yourself every weekend just isn’t what I thought life was about. Even going to the football at the weekends is getting repetitive and I never thought I’d say that. I wish I’d grown up in a place where the community was united and people were nice and respectful to each other, like a religious community or something… And I’m not religious in the slightest but I wish I was brought up in one of them communities, they always seem so happy and fulfilled. I’ve also dreamed about living in America but that’s never gonna happen. I just want to move somewhere that I don’t know anybody and I can reinvent myself as a useful human being with goals and ambitions and where nobody knows who I am… Or I could just get hit by a car and people would pretend to care at my funeral so they could get free food and drink. At least they would like me for a day. I blame “depression” on childhoods. Even good childhoods. When you’re young, cartoons on TV and primary school teachers teach you everything is ‘great and wonderful’ and life is a ‘happy’ thing. When you pass the age of 15 you begin to realise that life is actually not that great and everything you’ve been taught as a child was bullshit! On the other hand if you were brought up with neglectful parents then of course you are gonna be depressed as an adult. I’m nearly 20 now and I know I’m not gonna see my 25th birthday. I refuse to live in this country another 5 years, I don’t wanna be here another 5 minutes! On the plus side my kidney has been hurting recently so hopefully it’s something serious. Fingers crossed. Sorry if I went on too much but cheers for reading.
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17 comments
Plenty of worse places to be; like England. People always think the grass is greener on the other side of the Atlantic. The reality is that it’s crap everywhere in the world unless you have lots of money or work in a brewery. The environment is what you make of it. There must be some good places in Scotland. What about loch lomond.
People in Scotland are never happy unless they are fighting, upsetting someone, drunk or just behaving like an idiot. I know the phrase ‘the grass is greener’ but it’s the only thing keeping me alive just now. Yeah I wouldn’t particularly like to live in England either but at least nobody would know me there.
Oh and I’ve never been to Loch Lomond but I imagine it would just be a lot of water haha
Honestly America isnt as great as it sounds. Gas prices are going up to 5 dollars unemployment and homelessness is all round. To make it even worse there are gangs all over the place and roaming around the streets and neighborhoods 24/7 so your never really”safe”.
It surely can’t be any worse than this pathetic excuse of a country!
If you say but every country has its ups and downs surely
This place has no ups… Absolutely none. Google ‘Dundee’ and you’ll see. That’s the nearest city to where I live.
Well at least your kinda close to the Ocean right ?
The beach is a dump with rubbish all over it and the water is dirty and freezing cold. Almost as depressing as the city itself.
Ahhh well ever considered traveling? Haha it could make you so much happier and who knows you could find the love of your life traveling!? 😀
Yeah i have thought about doing that but to travel you need money which I don’t have and I’d have to come back to this shit hole anyway so what’s the point? Just wish someone would kill me so it wouldn’t be my fault. Be so much easier! I’m not that lucky though.
And I’ve given up ‘looking for love’ because it doesn’t exist.
Your only as lucky as you want to be. Traveling should encourage you to get/make more money. And once you get more money you could live in America.
If you want we can talk about it ? Email me at ilyzamora@gmail.com
‘the same routine of going out getting drunk and making fools of yourself every weekend just isn’t what I thought life was about. Even going to the football at the weekends is getting repetitive’
Travel can be good for jump starting feeling connected to life again. Cultures do vary. Visiting The Netherlands, France and Germany cheered me up for a decade or so. America is harsh mostly. Houston, TX is hellish. SF Bay Area in CA is much better and more expensive.
There is a website CaretakersGazette where for 35$ you can sign up and get newletters of folks looking for housesitters, ranch hands, inn keepers and such. I signed up two years in a row and never responded to the ads but if you feel like traveling but you haven’t the money there are some ways to cut costs.
Maybe a hobby?
Finding love then falling into it is random though for some it happens. But finding what you enjoy doing and meeting others who share an interest could help.
What about starting an organization that cleans up the beaches?
Thanks MyTooSense.
Sure thing Jamie…. another travel for ‘less’ link: http://www.helpx.net/