Dammit I hate my grandparents!! I gotta get the he’ll out. I don’t even care about Florida right now. I need a fuckin escape, suicide, drugs, anything. Fuck life fuck people (not you guys… Sorry) fuck me. I don’t know why I’m still here. I’m a burden, a waste, and worthless. They won’t let me forget that. Shit I need an escape.
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What about getting supplies and money and hitching trains out of there?
Can’t do that and I mean I need something tonight. Now. I just… Losing my head again. I need out and if there iis no other way, I still know where my grandfathers gun is, and tied the noose in my closet again today… I don’t think I really want to end it all tonight but if I have no other way out… I can’t run away again. This place is too creepy…
Im sorry to hearyou are having a tough time Dawn, i knowyou dont really know me other than a name on your screen that every now and again pops up. Id be sad if you left us, i am not going to lie, i would.. Its like another defeat, another casualty, another person the system has failed.
I wish i could judt givr you a great big hug! Tell you it will be all ok, give you my sofa to crash on for awhile, if i could i would.
Much love x please please try to carry on fighting, SP community are here, we care, i care x
Gun… Can’t do that. Noose… I’m a coward. Cutting… Can’t get deep enough. Od… Doesn’t usually go well. Carbon Monoxide… My grandparents would hear it from the garage. Helium hood… no access to such materials. Running away… Tried that once. Drugs… No access to such materials. Only other option is to lose my fucking head but I might hurt someone else in the process. I think I should kill myself before I kill my grandparents because I know if I do that, I’ll kill myself anyways but wanna die a murderer… I don’t wanna hurt anyone. Dammit I’m not supposed to cry…
I don’t wanna die a*
i don’t know any1 and i’m new here but can you not wait awhile or talk 2 somebody because from what i’ve read on this site you seem really nice so please just try and distract yourself don’t do anything you’ll regret because you might not be able 2 go back and fix your mistake
I dont want to hurt anyone either, but inevitably you will. Id care if you stopped appearing, id be sad. It is ok to cry, crying is not a weakness. You are such a strong person, you are lovely and caring, i bet your a very affectionate person too given the chance x
Welcome to SP poppy x wish i could hug you! Both of you!
thanx you could try expressing yourself through writing not about yourself but be somebody new and step into their shoes it helps sometimes its an escape from reality 🙂 i hope you feel better soon x
-sigh. I kinda wish nobody cared. I really want to see Tom so bad right now but I can’t. I want to pour out everything to him but he’s not here. I don’t mean to cry right now. I’m stronger than that.. I haven’t cried in a while… I haven’t wanted to die this bad in a while… I can’t even say how much it means that you guys care but I wish no one did so I could just let go… I wish that one person in particular didn’t care. The only person I am really scared to hurt. I love her so much and it’s hard to hold on when it’s only for one person. I know she’ll be out of my life after this week so I feel like I can let go… I don’t know… I don’t know how my grandparents make me feel like this so easily…
I have had time to cool down over dinner… I’ll probly cut but I don’t thik I’ll do much more than that…
Glad to hear it Dawn 🙂 welltime for me to watch a dvd and hopefully fall asleep x night x
Goodnight Crimson. And thank you so much.. And thanks Poppyx welcome to SP sorry you guys had to deal with me >.< still miss Tom to death tho…