i’ve read a lot of these posts, since last summer. every single one i’ve read is like, poetic or something. well not mine.
i’ve been feelings suicidal since last year. i know it sounds pathetic, but it was because my boyfriend broke up with me. he was my first kiss, my first boyfriend and i feel like he was my first love. when he broke up with me, i just felt like NOBODY likes me or wants me, since he was my first boyfriend.
people have always picked on me, calling me fat, ugly, and other stuff. people always take me for granted and they always ignore me. people always treat me like shit, like i’m nothing. that’s why when someone actually likes me, i push them away. i tell myself that things will get better, that i will make my own path. but i know that i’m only lying to myself.
obviously, things haven’t gotten better. i cut myself. and when people see the scars, they get scared and they just ask me what happened. i wish someone actually wanted to talk about it with me. i wish someone actually cared enough to tell me to stop. but no one does. no one comes to my rescue. no one ever will.
3 comments
I don’t know how old you are, but i can tell you that i experienced something very close to that. My first kiss, my first boyfriend and first loved dated on and off for about three years, he was all of my highschool experiences and i never really got to know anyone else or see what other love felt like. In the last six months of our relationship i found he was dating someone else too, it devastated me because my love for him ran/runs deeper than i think most can imagine. We were close in a way that i can only describe as unique. I miss him all the time but i seperated myself completley from dwelling on the pain he cause me because i know that i deserve to be happy. So do you!, i know it seems like noone will care but you need to open your heart. Don’t date if you’re not ready, i’m still not, because i’ll always have love for him in my heart but one day i will. Don’t let this effect your life forever. people will do and say mean things and you can’t stop someone from being an asshole. What you can do is change how you react. Tell yourself your beautiful, because you are and everyone has a purpose. We go through struggles to grow and i don’t want you to give up.
thank you so much. that helped a lot, i’m in tears.
You’ve been here since the summer and your bearly postinq?ha damn that’s quiet a while,well I quess you know everyone on here.Yeah I used to feel suicidal when the love of my life broke up with me.Three years later and I’m still In love with her.Ha I’m such a looser.You push them away?I wouldn’t,I’d love to be liked/loved!I used to cut,well I can’t say used to cause It’s only been like two weeks since I’ve cut,I want to stop tho.I wish someone could pull me to the side and tell me everythinq Is qonna be okay even tho It’s not you know?