Just ever feel like your at a ‘breaking point’ when you feel so depressed you just can’t take it anymore? Well that’s me…
All my friends who said they would be there for me all gave up on me or don’t really care. Everynight.Everyday. I’m crying. It’s not like my life is bad. I do have people picking on me but its nothing. I’m not really sure why I’m so depressed….but I know I don’t like it and I don’t want anymore of it. Though I’m not sure what to do. I thought of suicide but I thought I was stupid for thinking of such a thing when theres nothing wrong with my life.
My lifes fine
But I’m not. Maybe the way I always put myself down makes it worse but I can’t control it. I know it doesn’t make sense but I do it. I try to stop and calm myself down but I just doesn’t work. There’s no reason why I think of myself as ‘trash’ or ‘useless’ but I just do I blame everything on me even if its someone elses fault. I know I also live in the past. Its just so hard to let go sometimes….Even though it hurts me I just can’t. The memories I keep thinking of now is of my ex I mean I am fine until….I think about the past…..even though it makes me sad I don’t want to let go. If I do then I have to face the reality that I’ll never have him again. Ha….I also get yelled at for being to ‘negative’ but the way I see it is like If you expect good way and it doesn’t happen then your twice as sad as thinking of the bad way. Why do that? It doesn’t make sense to me.
Anyway
Maybe I’m just messed up. If so then I have no idea how to ‘change’
1 comment
Im at the same breaking point you are in right now. I still love my first and only ex, but she has already moved on. So i decided it was time for me to move on to. And i finally found a girl that made me as happy as my ex did again. But when i told her how i felt, she friendzoned me. But just 2 days ago she told me she had feelings for me to, but i chickened out and told her i had to think about it because i gave up on her since i was friendzoned for so long with her i didnt know what to do. But yesterday when i was going to ask her out she decided she longer wanted me, so i made her feel like shit, i made the girl who i have been trying to love for so long feel like shit, and now i feel like shit. All i want is to be happy again like i was with my ex, and i thought i could find it again, but like everything else in my life i screwed up. So now im in the breaking point after years of saddness, and everyone say im negiative if i say anything to anyone, so i have to put on a fake smile. So i know im not giving advice since im still at this point, but i want you to know you arent “messed up” for feeling this way. And you are not alone. Good luck, i hope everything works out with you…..