I can’t do this anymore…I’ve tried to stay happy but I just can’t. There’s no one I can turn to cause no one cares anymore, I need help I know I do but I can’t afford it and i’m too scared. I don’t want to self harm anymore, I don’t want to feel this pain, I have so many cuts and my arms are so sore everynight. I miss the old me, I miss being happy. I just want to smile but it’s always so much of an effort, I’m breaking apart right in front of the people who I thought had onced cared but they don’t…Someone please help me, IÂ don’t want to commit suicide but I feel like it’s my only option that everyone would be happier if I did kill myself…
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Your suicide would actually hurt a lot of people. I care. A lot of people don’t know they care until that person is gone. They really do, but they have their own problems inside that does not allow them to show emotion or love or caring for another. We sould not let this stop us from caring for ourselves. You should be your best friend. If you have this then you don’t need validation from anyone else. You can do it. The road to living is learning to love ourselves. It is a dark tunnel that leads to light, but you have to be willing to go the distance.
Noone would be happier if you killed yourself.
What makes you think that the people who cared for you dont care anymore?
@sensitiveskin All my friends desert me, Whenever I go near them they walk away from me, Whenever I try talking to them they just ignore me…I don’t know what I’ve done wrong but they keep pushing me away when I need them the most.
Can you interpret their behaviour in another way? Is it accidental and they dont mean to ignore you? Are they “playing” some childish game not realising how hurtful they are?
Try to enjoy yourself without them. Try to think of a possitive phrase that you can say over and over in your head like “I make me happy” or something and just keep repeating it in your head whenever you can.
Are there other people around you that you have never paid any attention to, that might be fun getting to know? What if you went up to one of them and found out something about them and really let yourself take an interest in them.
Lately (in the last 6 months) I have found this works for me.
I have found loads of people who interest me, and I enjoy talking to them about stuff. (waiting for trains, at my gym, at work etc) They are not my closest friends in fact some I only see once.
But for some reason trying to take an interest in other people has been more fun than I thought it would be, and it helps me. Maybe it will help you.
Tell the person you feel closest to-wether you think they care or not. Just someone you can talk to. There is always someone you can talk to and always someone willing to help. You just have to look. But you won’t find any help unless you talk to someone. And maybe some don’t care, then look for someone else. But don’t give up. I thought that too but now that I told my grandparents, I don’t even feel suicidal anymore. But I miss my mom like hell and in only a month, I’ll be with her again. Don’t give up, you might miss out. Talk to someone
Can you do me a little favor first?
I have written many posts here.
Search for and read these;
the Suicide
the Cutter
the Black Velvet Curtain
the Mentor
And if you still want help come ask me.
Good luck
@theGuardian thanks so much I will
@Dawn I did tell the person I was most closest to but it drove her to try suicide. She survived tho but now she get’s hell from her mom every day over me. She’s not allowed to be near me anymore cause her mom doesn’t like me, she’s not allowed to talk to me or even meet up with me. I’ve lost the only close friend I really had.
TearDropFantasy,
Your friend pushed you away.
You know that it’s wrong, but they have their choice.
And you can’t just push in, as that to be wrong too.
Just settle, just be, as long as doing things right, what shall happen next is just fate of one chooses to be entitled.
My laptop’s sound system has not been working for half a year, so I would have no idea how that you play your music.
But I can tell you for certain that, you don’t need bizarreness to capture crowd at all, nor any music that you’re playing now to define you. You are already able enough to define your future.
You are BLESSED (gifted) with wisdom, and I saw that to tell you this.
Should that be creativity as in music, I could only guess wisdom includes all that you feel royal to.
But remember that, follow your suit, and never others.
And it’s very important that, steer YOURSELF away from negativity that only keeping you in hurdling !
Believe in yourself since their wisdom is never any close to compare with yours.