Okay, so this is my first post. I’ve been looking at this site for a week or so to see if would help me, so I thought that explaining my situation may help me.
I got divorced last year after finding out that my wife was having a FaceBook affair with a guy in the USA (I’m in the UK). To be honest, that didn’t really bother me as I wasn’t happy anyway. We agreed that I would have guardianship of my son, as to be honest, I am the better parent. So what do I have to be unhappy about?
I have a house that is too big and I can’t afford the mortgage. I was left with £70,000 of credit card bills (not my debt but in my name). I am self employed and am witnessing my industry going down the pan, but this is all I know. As and when the house is sold I’ll probably be left with nothing. I’ve been offered a weeks free stay in a friends apartment in Portugal, but I can’t even afford to renew my son’s passport, let alone the flights, car hire and spending money! So I’m completely skint and feel a complete failure.
The problem that I am facing at the moment, is that I have no interest in anything! I love my son to bits, but I can’t get enthused by anything and feel like I’m letting him down. I know that, because of the financial position that I am in, the chance of me finding a girlfriend are next to nothing – what can I offer? On top of this, a girl who is my best friend, whom I am totally in love with, has told me that she does not feel the same about me and doesn’t think she ever will.
So, I feel very, very low, completely worthless, and at least if I found a way to end my life, the insurance money would pay out (I’ve already checked the terms) and my son’s mum and new husband (whom my son gets on will with) can bring him up and have enough money to get their own lives back on track.
Just to let you know, I’ve not just started feeling this way. This has been going on for around 4 to 5 years and I have tried to fight it as much as possible, but now feel completely drained.
I guess I’ve answered my question myself, but wanted to air my feelings before I make the final decision.
4 comments
Hey. I can’t say that I know how you feel as I’ve never really been in such situation but what I do know that it must be really hard for you. But you can’t give up, you have to fight your negative feelings and have faith. Sometimes, God puts you in a test to see your patience. Ask him for help and I’m sure he’ll help you through. I’ve been on difficult situations for my age and I’ve been stressed a lot you’ll get through, like everyone did. If you have even one reason to live then please don’t give up, I know that life doesn’t seem worth living but you’ll get through in time. And that’s just life, there will be problems. Keep going for your son. 🙂 I know there’s someone out there who truly loves you.
Don’t lose hope. There will be better times someday.
Thanks Alex
You are right course – Lifes shit and then you die!
I’m hoping for better times ahead, who knows right? I can’t ask God for help as I’m not a believer. I’m not against it, just don’t believe.
Regarding the love thing, I think there are a lot of women out there, for whom the size of your wallet matters little. It’s more about who you are as a person. So I wouldn’t give up on that front.
Your situation sounds rough, I’d try to get as much outside help as possible to cope, from your bank, your friends, the state, everyone, tell them what’s wrong, and try to work with them to get your life back “on track”. Maybe see a shrink or a coach for your depression.
If your son is like most people, I think he’d by far prefer to have his father alive and witnessing him grow up, than a lump sum of money from your life insurance.
Get help, and give it a shot, and be open, just like now. Never face your biggest problems alone.
Hi
Thanks for your kind words, although to be honest, although many women don’t care about the size of your wallet, you still need a few quid to at least get to know them! Sounds like you’re going through the mill as well?
I’ve decided to give my mysefl another month. It felt good to get this off my chest, although that doesn’t mean that the thoughts aren’t still in my head all day, every day. One day at a time I guess is the best way forward. Try to find something (anything) positive each day, that’s what I’m trying to do for the time being.
Once again, thank you.