So I am sat at work, no-one is speaking to me (naturally and great), working on reproducing some results that are looking great, but it all means nothing.
I don’t care anymore, there is nothing that fascinates me. I will leave here later today and go home, cry, cut, and generally feel terrible as always and try to get through it. But what is the point? Why bother? A new day comes and it is as bad as the next, just as pointless and I am not sure if I want to do this anymore.
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I know what you mean, work like a lemming to pay you taxes and bills just to keep going around in boring ass circles. The world is fucked and only getting worse by the day, while TV trys to tell us it’s all okay and keep us looking the other way. I can’t wait for my date to come, just over a week to go, if it all goes to plan.
That’s how it is at school too. I go home depressed and cut very bad. Or even at my church. My family is very religious and I have to go to church 3 times a week. Well I see my friends and they do talk to me…sometimes…but I still go home depressed.
the boring ass circles ..
1 of the reasons I dropped out of college and ain’t motivated to find a job
I swear this modern lifestyle is solely designed to kill your spirit
It is actually rather strange.
In Uni there was so much to do.
So many interesting things.
All one had to do was be on campus and one could find something.
But the adult world for many is just grinding at thankless effort to obtain and maintain consumer goods… many of which are trinkets of little use just marketed to us because everyone else has one.
And amazingly enough the stuff some of the kids go trhough in school these days.
We had singular bullies who would chill after a swift beating.
They have a whole other level of it.
The funny thing is, that is all life has ever been. Suffering and survival. One got beaten down and if one did not die one lived to get beaten down again. With tiny moments of joy interceding.