3 of my closest friends left me, because all of a sudden my drinking and smoking and cutting is ruining their lives.  So now, because I won’t give those things up because I fucking can’t, they’re not talking to me anymore.  nd now I have legit 3 female friends, one of which I don’t even like that much, and my boys.  I know pretty soon that the boys will be all I’ve got.  But those girls I trusted with my everything, and all of them fucked me over.  If the people I trusted most in the world can leave me for something as stupid as that, obviously no one is going to stand by me.

No one cares.  And I’ve decided it’s better this way.  Let everyone else let go, so it won’t hurt anyone when I finally leave for good.

And damn, do I want to.  For the past two days I’ve felt nothing but emptiness every second of every minute of every hour.  I just want to fucking die.  And maybe I should.  Let them see how much they hurt everyone.  Because they do this every time they’re upset with someone.  Maybe if I get my relief, they’ll get their wakeup call.