still?

I miss the people who know me. Now I know how it feels to finally see the people I badly wanted to be with because they knew me and then realize that I left behind the ones who really know me for these people who will never understand me or even care to try to learn who I am. It hurts. I thought this is what I wanted but these aren’t the people I grew up with…

I’m home… Fuck it I have no home. I thought I wanted this but I’m still fucking miserable. Guess I’ll never be really happy again. I feel more trapped to because I refuse to die here. I want Virginia back. I’m pretty sure those people aren’t going to change. DOesn’t matter. I though my soul was with my mom but I realize I don’t have a soul. I’m dead. If I will never be happy again it must mean I have no soul to satisfy. Just…. Send me to the place that I thought killed me because that’s the place that didn’t abandon me. The one that won’t change. At least I hope not. That’s where My story can end. Wheather it ends naturaly or suddenly or intentionaly. I still had hope until I got off that plane… I think it flew out the window….