Wowza

I haven’t been on this website since April. Holy moly is that ever a long stretch.
Just needed something to vent onto.
I’ve had a countdown for 200+ days until my friend came home from a school exchange from Spain. She came home on the 22nd, I was very excited to see her.
On the 20th of June I had surgery on my throat and nose, that caused me a lot of pain that I am extremely good at hiding. I was and still am in constant pain but no one ever comments on it because they think I am just that strong.  I found out on the 22nd of May that I needed the surgery so since then I had held off on cutting for the pure fact that I didn’t want my surgeon or anyone to see… can’t hide huge gashes in your skin when you’re asleep. I’ve wanted to so badly, I’ve been so sad. Just miserable in general. I’ve been trying to hold off on it for so long because I have been non-stop for about 3 years. Trying my best. That’s all you can do, right?