I’ve been reading a lot about suicide methods, It makes sick… I’m making my “to do” list, is getting so real. I just know that I have to put all my effort and do my best to die in a painless and quick way. My determination creeps me out. To commit suicide seems very hard, but I will succeed. I’m not afraid of death, not at all. But I agree with you I wish there was a self-destruction button. Pills and helium seems to work well, my fucking body it’s very strong even thou I’m petite, so I will start by make my health weak, I don’t smoke or drink and I have never tried drugs, so I hope all this will help a lil. I always wanted to go to Japan, so maybe I will flight over there to kill myself , their culture you know? need to read more cuz I want to be sure my family won’t have to deal with my death body. By the way, does anyone knows if the helium method can work if I use just the mask, the idea of putting a bag on my head seems a lil bizarre to me…
Thing is.. its not the pain, suffering, method that is stopping me..
its the aftermath that i worry about, like you i got family, and i really dont want them to end up feeling bad for my death..
the only reason im alive is this.. i dont want my death to be a bother for anyone.. im just waiting on my natural death… my health is already f###ed up.. I just live day in and day out, playing games, trying dangerous activities, hoping for an accident..
A coward? dont think so, i just dont wana be responsible for it..
I think you should plan the japan trip, perhaps you find a reason to live?
Wonder what screwed you up?! care to tell?!
I read somewhere else that when you’re thinking about to commit suicide It’s not that you don’t care about the ones you love, but that the pain can become so unbearable that it out weighs everything else. You simply run out of the resources to deal with the pain. I guess my inability to deal with pain is what is fucking me up… I’m never gonna be able to understand how people makes it, I mean when I see all the suffer they go thru, how they hold on? what makes them to want another day? The person that I love the most is dying from brain cancer, she is just a 12 years old little girl, she was born sick and for more than 11 years I dedicated my life to try to save her. I failed, as you may know the big hospitals, pharmaceutical companies and the government are full of greedy pigs, so no matter how hard I tried I never had enough money to save her, I saw other kids dying I saw my entire family getting fucked up for the government of my country, my mind has sunk deep, I lost hope, now I just feel pain. I’m a good person full of love, I used to be strong and I was always happy trying, I never thought I was going to give up but I had enough, It takes a lot to understand that some of us were born without a chance, so no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try your dreams won’t come true… I cannot stay here just to see how she dies in a horrible way. So. Fuck this, I’m done.
Hi SW, I have to agree with you on your post. What would it hurt if we ended it sooner than we are suppose to. really what is wrong with us being in control of our own lives. I agree fully with your second post aswell. i think i read a post from you a while back aswell being deported from canada, sorry if i’m wrong. I’m in canada and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. sure it could be alot worse, it always can. but it also could be alot better aswell. I’ve tried so many times, nobody cares to know how many. I’m still here, it sux. My reason behind it is not because i’m depressed, more so this world is so currupt and full of greed. Not including other medical issue i’ve had since i was 2yrs cause by my mothers stupidity. You have to do what your heart desires, i go by living life till your thirty and if things are still messed up at least youve given it a fair chance. each to there own opinion on that one i guess. Be strong in your decision and dont do anyting you may regret later. make sure your 100% positive on your decision. take care.
LB
LB: thank u so much for your comment, I have been reading many of your post and you seem a really nice person, it makes me a lil sad to notice that your life has a lot on commun with my niece’s , she is as well just a victim of the system, she is suffering and paying for the things she never done… I used to believe with all my soul that after this life she and I would have a second chance somewhere, Now after all this I don’t hope for an after life … LB , is very kind from you to comment on people’s post, I guess we feel a lil less crazy by knowing that someone out here is listening. Something catches my attention when you write you wanna go on a trip and try to diss appear, be kind to yourself, I mean the whole point on committing suicide is save ourselves some pain, stay in Canada, trust me you have no idea of the horror that you could encounter if you try to get to south America. Hope you will find something to hold on to to make it to your thirty B-day, myself I agree we gotta give a last big fight before we leave. My problem is: I don’t want to decay, I want to leave this world with my moral values and my dignity untouched…
9 comments
I just wish there is a button to press and I just disappear, I don’t even want the commotion of my death to affect anyone…
I wish i never existed..
I’ve been reading a lot about suicide methods, It makes sick… I’m making my “to do” list, is getting so real. I just know that I have to put all my effort and do my best to die in a painless and quick way. My determination creeps me out. To commit suicide seems very hard, but I will succeed. I’m not afraid of death, not at all. But I agree with you I wish there was a self-destruction button. Pills and helium seems to work well, my fucking body it’s very strong even thou I’m petite, so I will start by make my health weak, I don’t smoke or drink and I have never tried drugs, so I hope all this will help a lil. I always wanted to go to Japan, so maybe I will flight over there to kill myself , their culture you know? need to read more cuz I want to be sure my family won’t have to deal with my death body. By the way, does anyone knows if the helium method can work if I use just the mask, the idea of putting a bag on my head seems a lil bizarre to me…
Thing is.. its not the pain, suffering, method that is stopping me..
its the aftermath that i worry about, like you i got family, and i really dont want them to end up feeling bad for my death..
the only reason im alive is this.. i dont want my death to be a bother for anyone.. im just waiting on my natural death… my health is already f###ed up.. I just live day in and day out, playing games, trying dangerous activities, hoping for an accident..
A coward? dont think so, i just dont wana be responsible for it..
I think you should plan the japan trip, perhaps you find a reason to live?
Wonder what screwed you up?! care to tell?!
I read somewhere else that when you’re thinking about to commit suicide It’s not that you don’t care about the ones you love, but that the pain can become so unbearable that it out weighs everything else. You simply run out of the resources to deal with the pain. I guess my inability to deal with pain is what is fucking me up… I’m never gonna be able to understand how people makes it, I mean when I see all the suffer they go thru, how they hold on? what makes them to want another day? The person that I love the most is dying from brain cancer, she is just a 12 years old little girl, she was born sick and for more than 11 years I dedicated my life to try to save her. I failed, as you may know the big hospitals, pharmaceutical companies and the government are full of greedy pigs, so no matter how hard I tried I never had enough money to save her, I saw other kids dying I saw my entire family getting fucked up for the government of my country, my mind has sunk deep, I lost hope, now I just feel pain. I’m a good person full of love, I used to be strong and I was always happy trying, I never thought I was going to give up but I had enough, It takes a lot to understand that some of us were born without a chance, so no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try your dreams won’t come true… I cannot stay here just to see how she dies in a horrible way. So. Fuck this, I’m done.
“why he that cuts off 15 years. Cuts off 15 years of fearing death.” -Casca the tragedy of Julius Caesar
Exactly.
Well put.
I meant about your main post, sowhat.
That goes equally for your last comment. I’m sorry that she’s going through that.
Hi SW, I have to agree with you on your post. What would it hurt if we ended it sooner than we are suppose to. really what is wrong with us being in control of our own lives. I agree fully with your second post aswell. i think i read a post from you a while back aswell being deported from canada, sorry if i’m wrong. I’m in canada and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. sure it could be alot worse, it always can. but it also could be alot better aswell. I’ve tried so many times, nobody cares to know how many. I’m still here, it sux. My reason behind it is not because i’m depressed, more so this world is so currupt and full of greed. Not including other medical issue i’ve had since i was 2yrs cause by my mothers stupidity. You have to do what your heart desires, i go by living life till your thirty and if things are still messed up at least youve given it a fair chance. each to there own opinion on that one i guess. Be strong in your decision and dont do anyting you may regret later. make sure your 100% positive on your decision. take care.
LB
LB: thank u so much for your comment, I have been reading many of your post and you seem a really nice person, it makes me a lil sad to notice that your life has a lot on commun with my niece’s , she is as well just a victim of the system, she is suffering and paying for the things she never done… I used to believe with all my soul that after this life she and I would have a second chance somewhere, Now after all this I don’t hope for an after life … LB , is very kind from you to comment on people’s post, I guess we feel a lil less crazy by knowing that someone out here is listening. Something catches my attention when you write you wanna go on a trip and try to diss appear, be kind to yourself, I mean the whole point on committing suicide is save ourselves some pain, stay in Canada, trust me you have no idea of the horror that you could encounter if you try to get to south America. Hope you will find something to hold on to to make it to your thirty B-day, myself I agree we gotta give a last big fight before we leave. My problem is: I don’t want to decay, I want to leave this world with my moral values and my dignity untouched…