Today I woke up and realized how unhappy I really am. The pain I feel is so intense that it hurts to the core of my being. I sit here and look at the walls so much grief here I lost so much my home my kids my ex my life. Its all gone and I don’t have another start over in me I really don’t. Ending this life is all I have left. I simply can’t do this anymore . I have made my final plan to just end it. I can’t live without my family anymore I failed them and myself. No more anti depressants no more counseling atwo years of that has did no good I’m still the same I’m not living just existing and it took its toll on me finally as I listen to Brian McKnights song anytime I know I can’t live anymore it just to painful I really miss my family.
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DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. They’ll believe it’s all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they won’t feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. They’ll think of you ever second. They’ll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. They’ll wish they could die too. They’ll want to give up, just to be with you. They won’t be ever be happy again. They won’t smile. They won’t go back to their daily routine. They’ll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. They’ll think, but stay quiet. They’ll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long it’s been, they’ll wake up to thinking they’ll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know you’re gone forever.Before you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. It’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. They’ll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their child’s funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didn’t need you, or didn’t care, are waiting in line to see you. They aren’t waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. They’re waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Don’t you dare so no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, won’t have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, won’t have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, won’t have a sibling anymore. Your pet, won’t have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, won’t feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, won’t have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didn’t yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that you didn’t meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.
Before you decide to take your life, think. Don’t just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No one’s life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, won’t have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but you’ll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.
If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:
My ask is open, and I’m always here. I’ll never judge you. I’ll try to help you.
Talk to me :/ if this makes you feel worse, please email me, im here and i CARE!! your a complete stranger but i care, and i’ve been exactly where you are, reach out to me :3 Please don’t give up hope
– I RECENTLY SAVED A YOUNG 32YR OLD WOMAN on here , and heres her story,
http://suicideproject.org/2012/07/thank-you-alexa/
I can help and im here.. i never left her, and i’ll never leave you, no matter how many times you push me away, i’m always here!
If you live by yourself, or your in a situation where your parents or anyone doesn’t care, I DO. Talk to me
I’m sorry you have lost the people you love the most. I wish I had better words to comfort you. No matter what your decision is, I hope it brings you peace.
Thank you, I feel like leaving this life is the only way I will find peace
Leaving and ending your life might give you peace, but i’m here with you to talk to you and help you through the things that cause so much pain, and stand beside you through whatever your decision is , but having faith in you that you’ll find a reason to stay here
How old are your kid’s.?
17-4
I know but anything can happen. In the future your kids might take the initiative and make contact. I would. So, with something to look forward to, try and make some targets for yourself so that if your circumstances change in the future, you will be able to take your chance. It is very common to find families that break up, even when one parent wants to make an effort. There are still options and you still have rights. If you give up then obviously there are no options.
Just want to say goodbye I’m done
It’s really tough to deal with when there are kids involved, believe me, I know… everyone telling you to stay for them, when you feel like shit all the time… I just hope you try to exhaust all other options first.
I didn’t want to leave I wanted to stay an work on it
I know.. I feel the same way .. alot. If you ever want to talk, let me know.