I can really say i hurt myself more than before. For letting go of such an amzing person. He was everything. I was trully stupid for not appreciating him completely,he tried so hard, and i still let him fall…i can’t seem to find reasons in my head to understand why i’d let him go. Its hard just thinking a life without his touch..his words..his everything. It seems so imposible. But there’s not much i can do if we both decided its time. Time to let go of eachother. He got tired of waiting..we had the week to think but i guess it was too much for him..he’s tired of me. And im tired of myself as well. Sometimes i feel the need to cut ..to feel calm. Cause i cant see beyond my own eyes. I cant see the love. Im so blind in my own ideas that i forget to love as much as ii could.. I feel so empty without him..but i know i hurt him just by being there. I hurt him if im far too..:/ but i know he’ll get better. Same as me. I’ll be broken for a while. But i’ll be fine. Hopefully.
5 comments
5 comments
I love the positive outlook that you have on this situation even though I know that this is something that is hard for you. Realizing that losing him was not the end of the world is a great thing to come to terms with because you know that time heals all. Even though you and him are no longer together, that doesn’t mean that he is gone from your life completely. Yes, he is not going to be there as often as he was before but that doesn’t mean that you to will become complete strangers. One thing that I’ve learned from experience is that no matter how badly things ended with a person, people will always be there for their ex whenever they need them because we still do feel that obligation to them. This was only one chapter of your life and the next chapter will get better. This is not the end of the book, you still have so much more to write. You and him just weren’t meant to be and if you guys are meant to be than don’t worry about it, everything will play out exactly the way it is supposed to be in the end. You are so young and you still have so much time to grow up and develop into that strong, independent woman that you are. Keep your head up, you’re beautiful <3
Well, it’s been a while since I have come here feeling depressed and thinking about death. I haven’t take my antidepressents for a while and I am willin go try them again for a while to see if I can get to a better place emotionally and psychologically. HOwever in the mean time I am pretty down. I wonder why I keep trying.
It seems like society at large is against everything I am. It seems like the whole world would be happy if I were dead. I am gay. I am fat, though I do bike everywhere now and am trying to get in shape. I am poor which is why I don’t have a car. I don’t have a job right now. I pushed most everyone out of my life so I am alone a lot of the time. I just feel like a lot of people would be happy to see me die. The weird thing is that I almost died about a month ago. I almost drowned in a river and even was on the news because of it. I fought like hell to save my life mostly because I was afraid of being stuck on the bottom of the river while I inhaled water and died. I have a real fear of that. It’s been a fear all my life so something in me went nuts when I almost ended up there. But still I think of dying because if I can control it and make it not so scary maybe I can do it.
I am a hated person by many.
Well…maybe you didnt mean to post this here. But i reallly dont think you’re hated by many. And maybe its just that you push them away…i know a lot of that cause i do that all the time. And well i understand its hard because you say you’re gay, and fat. But maybe if you lived and appreciated yourself more, you wouldnt feel this way..i think that. And well..if you ever wanna talk im here. <3 chin up! I know you must be a beautiful person <3
Oops I meant to start my own thread. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to post that here.
Thank you so much..<3