Since i was young all i wanted was someone to ‘get me’. Â It sounds so cliche but no one really understood my humor, my thoughts, feelings and reactions so i soon learnt how to hide them. Because it began to be draining, having to fight for every word you say. Trying to back up every opinion you gave. It was much easier to act like i had nothing to say. To be like everyone else.
Then i met him, I couldn’t be fake to him, i tried so hard. But i just couldn’t. For the first time since i was very young, i was acting like myself again. I didn’t worry about the strange looks or total discomfort. I would often say how I felt about something and instead of putting me down or telling me my opinion was wrong. He thought about it, then reflected on it.
I finally found someone that would respect what i said and didn’t mind my weird outbursts and reactions.
He accepted me totally. For who i am as a person. It was unbelievable.
And it comforts me that even if we drift away in life, there was ONE person in this whole world that understood me and still loved me.
Acceptance is such a powerful and awesome thing.
So thank you.
2 comments
Geez Solace…that first paragraph is exactly how I always felt. Weird to hear you say what I was thinking. I’ve always been oddly morbid, in a way, talking about death at a young age and how I’d want to die if I had a choice. My sense of humor and my options no one has ever understood either. Glad to know I’m not alone…. And I’m happy that you found that one person that “got” you.
I have to agree with Zacurious…your opening paragraph could have come from my own lips, to the letter. I have to say, Solace, that you are lucky that you had that person in your life. I’ve just looked back into my own past, trying to remember that 1 person I had for a time in my life who I felt truly understood me, and I honestly can’t think of anyone. I know when I was in my late teens & early 20’s ,when I was more open to strangers and a lot more socially active, I would engage in some deep conversations with people who sometimes seemed to understand & agree, or share my perspective, , but for 1 reason or another I never struck up any kind of lasting freindship with them. I regret that now, because if I had I would at least have the memories of them to cherish
There have been a few significant people in my life who accepted me, which is I guess what your post is paying an homage to, who I felt comfortable letting my guard down enough to truly be
myself around. But I can’t say I felt they understood, and I learned a long time ago that my perspecive of the world is one not shared by most. As Zacurious said, it is somewhat reassuring to know other people have always felt the same way. It’s just a shame we have to share our thoughts under these circumstances…